Johnny Came Home Headless

Johnny was a tall man, but his memory was short.

He'd forget to duck at doorways, and often he'd get hurt.

I took good care of him for he had no family.

Accually he did but he forgot who they be.

Johnny often liked to go out on the town.

He'd forget where he'd be going, so he'd just wander 'round.

I knew when he was back, for I would hear the smack

Of his head hitting the doorway, but one night it was a lack.

Johnny came home headless.

It was a great disgrace,

But where ever it's a'lying

There's a smile upon his face.

I should have seen it comin'.

He'd finally lost his mind,

But if his head don't turn up soon

then all his hats are mine.

Johnny came towards me, but suddenly he stopped,

As if trying to think of something but having no luck,

'Cause still he didn't notice that his head weren't there,

'Til he took out a brush and tried to comb his hair.

I said, "Johnny, where's your cranium?", but he didn't seem to know.

He just shrugged his shoulders and tried to find his nose.

The sight of him there topless made me start to cry,

For I feared we'd never again see eye to eye.

Johnny came home headless.

It was a great disgrace,

But where ever it's a'lying

There's a smile upon his face.

I should have seen it comin'.

He shoud have stayed in bed,

For now I fear he'll spend his life

Just trying to get a head.

Refusing to believe that he had split for good

His lower half and me searched the neighbor hood.

It soon became appearant that his head we wouldn't find it.

He could not retrace his steps; he was absent-minded.

Well years went by 'til late one I heard a voice I swore

Was Johnny calling out for me. I flung open the door.

Johnny's head was home. It took a taxi cab.

Alas it was too late. His body had gone bad.

Johnny's head was homeless.

His body was creamated

And the funeral was harder

Than he had anticipated.

"I shouldv'e seen it comin',"

He said in his eulogy.

"I never thought I'd have to say 'I ain't got no body'."

(I ain't got no body.)

Johnny came home headless.

It was a great disgrace,

But now his head is on a shelf;

A smile upon his face.

Now his head is on a shelf;

A smile upon his face.