Fagette

Hello! I'm your true switch from Athens, GA

Goin' to protests, high fivin' the gays

I'm a single white ant and on any given day

May have a tendency towards homosexualit-ay

Hay, hay, hay

I'm an F-A-G-E-T-T-E

Twinkle toes, witness row

Got double X's and rows

Got gender troubles and loads

I need a man that can handle what's underneath these clothes

Cuz I got a V to the A-G-I-N-A

But no P-E-N-I-S envay

Cuz for real-do, I got a dildo

I got 2 dildos, I got 3 dildos!

Now it takes 2 to felatio

But only 1 to tango

You know I mean business when I pop in Luther Vandross

I'm an equal opportunity lover

I like the boys, the girls, the others

"LQBTQILMNOP?"

Hell apples and oranges, they're all fruits to me!

I like 'em big, I like 'em small

I like 'em tall, I like RuPaul

I like RuPaul, I like RuPaul, I like RuPaul, I like RuPaul!

So here's to the girls with the chubby chub

Now here's to the boys: ain't got no butts!

The sexy nerds, the freaks

The butches and the geeks

The bears and S&Ms and the femme lesbians!

I'm a pansexual, got my hands on the menu

I'm a smooth Jew, a bar mitzvah party animal!

I'm an F-A-G-E-T-T-E

Twinkle toes, witness row

Got double X's and rows

Got gender troubles and loads

I need a man that can handle what's underneath these clothes

("Why?")

Cuz I got a V to the A-G-I-N-A

But no P-E-N-I-S envay

Cuz for real-do, I got a dildo

I got 2 dildos, I got 3 dildos!

Have you heard? I'm speakin' the good word

There's been rumors that I tutored Miss Cleo 'bout the future

Yeah you remember her, the fortune teller from TV

2.99 a minute for a little ESP

She said 'Team Gina gonna dance you sweaty.'

She said 'The Athens Boys Choir is just one little fairy.'

Wah, wah, wah

But I don't stop believin', hold on to this feelin'

See I keep dreaming of my posters on ceilings

An independent artist being reviewed

In like, Dynamite magazine

We'd rap back like slap bracelets, or go back to the 80's

Like before Kurt Cameron went fundamentalist and we all still wanted to have his babies

And Doogie Howser was like the smartest guy we know

We were all cucoo for cocoa and had no idea about a TV like Logo

We were all Reaganomics and synthesized beats

Doing the Running Man, we rocked pumps on our feets

And all those dances, I can never get it

So I step back, cuz the only slide I know... is electric

Boogie woogie woogie woogie

I'm an F-A-G-E-T-T-E

Twinkle toes, witness row

Got double X's and rows

Got gender troubles and loads

I need a man that can handle what's underneath these clothes

Cuz I got a V to the A-G-I-N-A

But no P-E-N-I-S envay

Cuz for real-do, I got a dildo

I got 2 dildos, I got 3 dildos!

So you can pick one that's just your size

If not we'll go buy one that fits just right

We're all one love, two love

Menage-a-trois

Saying queer love, het love

Whatevaaah!