Dark Room

So tell me what it is that you want, that-, that you don't have

Contemplating everything

I'm questioning who I am and these walls I'm living in

I might scream but they won't hear this hurricane

That's some love I mix with pain

That's some shit won't be the same

That's some rain that comforts me on these walks I take outside the frame

Yeah, yeah

I'm so used to the cycle

I don't really tell nobody

I'm close to the edge and I might fall

Running from something years ago

I don't even know how to slow down

I'm anticipating a crossroads

And I'm asking God where to turn now

It's three in the morning

And I do this every day

My thoughts get lost in this dark room

'Til the sunrise washes them all away

I heard there's beauty in the struggle

I heard it's sweet, it's subtle

Light pours down this tunnel

Run until I lose my shadow

I may just trip on some faith in here

Thought I was running for light

But in truth, I was running in fear

This was never how it used to be

I loved you before I learned to love me

I tried to confide in friends but they taught me that that was naive

Taught me to cover my sleeves and fall on my knees

And to look up in the sky in need

Run, run, run

I'm trying to find me, yeah

Made it to the river edge

Trying to find some peace, yeah

Watching a black sky

Turn into a butterfly

Fly, fly, fly away

Letting go of yesterday

And I ain't never seen it like this

Never seen it like this before

And God, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure

I ain't never seen it like this

Never seen it like this before

God if I changed my mind, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure

We visit in a derelict past

Wiping the dust off this glass

This mirror shows me at nine years old

Looking back at me so hard

Where've you been?

Why'd you leave me behind?

I've been shouting for you all night

I've been calling 'til the sunrise washes me from the back of your mind, oh

Yeah

And I thought you would never come

Thought you would never be here

Looking in this broken mirror, everything's so clear

I didn't think I'd find you either

Not sure what I was searching for

Wiping the mirror with the tears I've been holding for years

Then it turned into a window when we watched it pour

When I'm old I wanna be somewhere real

You told me when I'm old I wanna be someone real

I don't really wanna end up like you

I just wanna find somebody that feels like me

Feeling to sail away

I'm gon' find me a better place

Somewhere they see me before they see my race

Somewhere I don't need to hide away

These friends aren't friends 'til they shared your hardest days

Your hardest time, your coldest place

You can come if you want to

You can come if you want to

We can still be okay

I got nothing but some thoughts on you

Watched it rain

But if I run 'round, take it all on, be a good son

Would it be alright?

Would it be alright?

Be alright, yeah

And lately I don't know what to do

I got nothing but some thoughts on you

But if I run 'round, take it all on, be a good son

Would it be alright?

Would it be alright?

Would it be alright?

Run, run, run

Trying to find me

Made it to the river edge

Trying to find some peace

Watching a black sky

Turn into a butterfly

Fly, fly, fly away

Letting go of yesterday

And I ain't never seen it like this

Never seen it like this before

God, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure

I ain't never seen it like this

Never seen it like this before

God if I changed my mind, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure

So tell me what it is that you want, that-, that you don't have

Well I'd like to be, I'd like to be more consistently here, you know? I'd like to really get on a ro-

I'd like to just, and I know it's not probably ever, maybe, possible but

Because it's so improbable, and so impossible, I'd just like to really see how long I could last as being really here, you know?

Really in it, really alive in the moment, you know?