Russian Unicorn

I'ma blast your brains

Talking full-on sex

I got a porcupine called Zazoom

He leaves his scent on people's graves

(Why is Zazoom always around so many graves?)

I had a cold one time, then I licked myself

Why don't y'all just float off

Now you're useless

I need a woman with a Benz looking to lose it

I ate the cookie then I gave it back to Benny

There she go

Now watch me flow

Oh, the night is young

Now, baby, we could shoot a Russian unicorn

We'll probably do it on the couch

While my roomie's out hiking

So take if off and bite your tongue, Oh

And hope my roommate don't come home

A Hot Pocket for twenty cents is a steal any day of the week

I wanna shave that mustache and then have gelato

We're here for too long

We gotta run, ok?

And trick those monsters so that they don't shoot my left nut

I know you ain't a bitch, cuz, girl, you kill it

I pee-peed in your glove and soon you'll start to smell it

If your body's a secret, girl, then you about to spill it

When I count to three dismount

Oh, the night is young

Now, baby, we could shoot a Russian unicorn

We'll probably do it on the couch

While my roomie's out hiking

So take if off and bite your tongue

I think that I ought to confess

I drink fire water

But I don't want the keys to your van

What I need is a rare, vermillion, Ukrainian unicorn

We can shoot a unicorn

Girl, I know you'll like the horn

And I'm gonna keep you warm

Till you wake up in the morning

I know you ain't a bitch

Oops, I didn't mean to do that

I just want to say I should not have ate those cajun rice and beans

The guy behind you just soiled his underwear

Oh, ummm, maybe you did it

Hey, that's ok girl!

Them strawberries look juicy

Oh, the night is young

Now, baby, we could shoot a Russian unicorn

We'll probably do it on the couch

While my roomie's out hiking

So take if off and bite your tongue

And hope my roommate don't come home

Bite your tongue

And hope my roommate don't come home

I got your Barbie Zucchini

Happy Monsoon Day!

And you promised you'd lick it

I'm gonna save a mental kitty

Yeah, she did it

I poisoned my dog so he can't keep chasing that baby giraffe