Taylor Swift

If you could have a drink with anyone

Dead or alive

Fictional or non-Fictional

Who would you have a drink with?

Well that's a question asked to me by a friend of mine

While making conversation on a, long drive

I didn't really think about it, just gave the answer quick

I dunno - I said, - Maybe Taylor Swift?

He said he think he'd like to have a drink with Tom Waits

And instantly I wondered if I'd made a mistake

Shit, fuck, wait, hang on, can I change my choice?

In fact I think I'd like to have a drink with Bill Hicks

But we both know he's dead

And Tom Waits doesn't drink these days

And why are we speaking hypothetically anyway

Because Favour Flav always said

Don't believe the hype

Celebrity can be our integrity tonight

I'd like to have a pint with John Lennon

A pint of John Smiths

With Bruce Sprigsteeen

Noam Chomsky

And Joey from Dawson's Creek

Jennifer Eagan

Tyler Durden

And Kate Tempest

Tom Robbins

Todd Snyder

And Conor Oberst

Now don't you even think about it, this round's on me

Knowing we'll have a bit of Jennifer, a G n' T

And hypothetically if I could choose the venue as Well

I'd chose the monarch in Camden Town

I'm more than just a regular, I'm there like every day

I really like the bar staff, and that old arcade

I can't wait to see the look on Mark the manager's face

When Bruce comes in, and asks for a drink

Maybe we can get him to do a few tunes

And while we're at it let's invite some other friends along

I'd like to have a drink with Jack White

A shot of Jack Daniels

With Jam Baxter

Chaz and Dave

And the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Russell Brand

Adam Curtis

And Mohammed Ali

Well I'm pretty sure that he's tee-totalled

But he can join us for a cup of tea

Now the party's getting started

Bruce is on the guitar

Kate is on the microphone

And Dave is on the drums

Hypothetically the party is in full swing

Michelangelo's getting the pizzas in

Then suddenly it hits me

What the fuck have I done?

I've invited all these people and I don't know anyone

Why isn't my wife standing here by my side?

Shit, she's the first person that I would invite

And what the hell do you think my mum is gonna do?

When she finds out I'm playing John Lennon at pool

Drop her a text, she'll be here in a flash

And when you think about it

Who are your real mates?

I'd like to have a drink with Jonny Manning

A bottle of Johhny Walker

With Dave Danger

Ally Wolf

And Bobby Banjo

My brother Kez

Yvonne and Jeff

And little Robyn

I'd like to have a drink with Skye Smead

The very same friend that asked me that question