The Unlikely Gymnast

Well, I would make an unlikely gymnast

But I'm obliged to give it a try

It was one of those conversations

It was one of those nights

But this morning I tried to do a cartwheel

And my body started showing it's age

Although I grin and beared it like a champion

I could feel the aches and pains

I took the title Mr Rolly Polly

I get myself a spandex suit

I do whatever I have to

I'm gonna vault that horse

I'm gonna roll until my wheels fall off

I'm gonna walk from there

I think it's time I learnt to do a somersault

Give me a bunk up dear, hey, give me a bunk up dear, hey! Hey!

I'm happy that I'm here and that I'm healthy

I'm up for trying new things out

Have you got a pair of balls of steel that I can borrow

Let's get the crash mats out

All I need's a teacher and a trainer

And some teammates to show me the way

I know a family in Scarborough

Who said they'll teach me today

I'm gonna roll until my feet get wet

I'm gonna swim from there

I think it's time that I learnt to do a somersault

Give me a bunk up dear, hey, give me a bunk up dear, hey! Hey!

I talk a lot of shit when I get hammered

I'm known for concocting wild and crazy plans

Do you remember that time last weekend

When I said I was going to make gymnastics sexy again