Ten Little Bottles

A friend of mine gave me ten little bottles

Of some special stuff that he'd brewed up hisself

But one day I was samplin' it a little you know just a touch

My wife found out about it

I had it hid down in the basement you see

And she says you go down there and get rid of that or else

Well since I didn't like the way she said or else

I went down there and proceeded to carry out her instructions

Well I set the rest of these bottles up on the drainboard

I picked up the first bottle and I pulled the cork out of it

And I poured it down the sink

That is all except one little swaller which I drank

I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the sink out of it

And I poured it down the sink

All except one little swallow which I drink

I picked up the next cork and I pulled the sink out of it

And I poured it down the bottle

All except one tiny little swallow which I sank

I usually have a little difficulty with this number

You see I come from a great long line of stink eh drinkers

I had an uncle once he drank a quart a day everyday of his life

No kiddin' he could drink a quart an not even stagger

He couldn't even move we told him we said

You'd better quit drinkin that stuff it's gonna kill you

Sure enough it killed him

He died last year at the age of 102

Don't laugh we dug him up last week

And he looks better than ya'll do now

We got back here he ask me

What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic

Well I'm gonna tell you

Us drunks don't have to attend all them danged ole meetings

Listen you may talk about me

But I tell you one thing

You'd better not say anyting against my wife

Cause I'll have you know I'll have you know

That I got the wifest little nice in the whole New Nited States