Undertaker's Love Lament

My name is Digger Colder I'm a mortician

Let me get a little more of this embalming fluid

And we'll get the procession under way

Well I undertook to be an undertaker

And she undertook to be this undertaker's wife

But a nonundertaker over took her

And they undermine this undertaker's life

Oh I dare not to send her lilies

Or to say I dig you the most

She never liked our long black Cadillac

Or me in a long black coat

Then I undertook to bury all my troubles

I undertook to throw myself into my work

But that was such a grave undertaking

And I never did learn to like the taste of dirt

Oh I never could convience her

My cold hands just meant a warm heart

She didn't dig all them cadivers what's a cadaver

You might say till death did us part

Now I've undertaken the thought that consoles me

Her best laid plans are bound to run aground

Cause everybody's gotta come here some day

Then I'm really gonna put that woman down

Oh they won't say that she looks natural

Cause she frowned down upon this place

And the last time I'm ever gonna see her

I'll put a big smile all over her silly face

Cause you know when she went shovellin' off

Then I realized that I'd dug her the most

Although she threw dirt in my face

That's a pretty grave situation you know

I think that's what started my coughin'

Then I went on ahead and I bought her a stone a tombstone of course

Then I called my mother on the phone and I said to her

I said mommmmmmie