Shed Reading (Rattus Norvegicus)

I am Rattus Norvegicus

I'm sitting in some shit-hole rat's nest and I'm a little angry

I wanted to be a talk show host, not a rat

You men think you have it bad with women?

I've got it a lot worse, let me tell you

What am I gonna say to some nice looking girl who I want to meet?

I can tread water for over 36 hours?

I can chew through lead pipes and cinderblocks?

I can run on telephone wires?

And what if I do get the girl home?

Can't fit her though the door, it's too small

Yeah I got a lot of grunts

How'd you like to have a tail that went through your body to drag around all the time?

Not my idea of fun by a long shot!

And do you see the neighborhoods that I'm forced to live in?

Those people live like pigs!

Can't catch the subway - they haven't built it yet

Can't catch the up-town bus - I can't reach the step-up

Hey, taxi!

And everyone

Wants to kill me

Feed me drugs and poison

Put electrodes in my head and make me run on treadmills

Dissect, bisect, and defect me

Biome, blind, mane and tame me

Are you folks crazy?

You never invite me to your parties - as if I would really wanna go anyhow

Have you ever asked me to go to a movie?

How 'bout bowling?

You ever seen a rat cry?

I got tears

And I have a heart and I got brains

If you could just see past the fur

I think that you would see

That I'm a lot like you