Kill Yourself

Have you ever felt sad or lonely?

Have you ever felt two feet tall?

Have you ever thought: Man, if only I was anybody else at all

They like to kick you

When times get rough

And you give your all

But it's not enough

And sticks and stones might break your bones

But words can break your heart

And if you don't know where to go

I'll show you where to start

Kill yourself, it'll only take a minute

You'll be happy that you did it

Just go over to your oven

And shove your head in it

Kill yourself, really, you should do it

There's really nothing to it

Just grab a mug

And chug a cup of lighter fluid

I sound un-empathetic

I sound mean and rude

Suicide is an epidemic

And I don't want to be misconstrued

Signs of depression

Go overlooked

So if you're depressed

Then you need to book

A therapy session

Talk about your depression

Let a professional hear it

But if you search for

Moral wisdom

In Katy Perry's lyrics, then

Kill yourself, it won't be painful

If you are able

To give a little kiss to an oncoming train, you'll

Kill yourself, it's over, mull it

There's a trigger, pull it

Get it through your head, "it" being a bullet

Stick your tongue in a plug

Suck a pipe of exhaust

Make some toast in the tub

Nail yourself to a cross

Hold your breath till it's gone

Drink a gallon of mace

Be gay in Iran

Let Oprah sit on your face

Jump off of a bridge

Skinny dip in a flood

Sky dive attached to a fridge

Drink a Haitian guy's blood

Break into the zoo

Give a tiger a shove

Eat a Phillips head screw

Marry Courtney Love