Sad

I met a homeless man named rich (he wasn't)

Isn't that terrible?

I saw a flyer for a lost dog

And the dog didn't have any legs

I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating

I saw a giraffe who had a short neck

That was sad or a deer

I saw an old man get hit by a train

He didn't see it in the pouring rain

He didn't hear me shout: Look out for the train!

'Cause I didn't say anything

I just thought to myself: Oh, this is gonna be sad

And it was, I'm a genius

I saw a man with only one eye in a 3d movie

I saw a little boy drop his ice cream

Cone directly on his mother's corpse

I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then

The kitten jumped off and he hung itself

I saw a boy who had red hair

I went to a store looking for something to buy

But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy

No, wait-this store sells mirrors

See what I did there?

Let's rock

No

The world's so sad, bros

Pain, genocide, war, sexism, racism

But I gotta remember there's good things about it too

Like the fact that none of that's happening to me, score!

Still though it's hard not to be sad about it

How do y'all do it?

I've been telling you, guys, terribly sad

Things this whole song. You haven't been sad at all

You've been

You've been happy, no

You've been laughing

That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything

It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world

I mean, not for the people that are actually sad

But for the people like us who've gotta

Fucking deal with 'em all the time

Being a comedian isn't being an insensitive

Prick capitalizing on the most animalistic

Impulses of the public, it's being a hero!

The world isn't sad. The world's funny! I'm a sociopath!

I saw an old man slip and fall-hey, what a fucking idiot

I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral-ha ha ha! Classic comedy!

Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now

The holocaust and 9/11?

That shit's funny 24/7

'Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about

Because my empathy is bumming me out

Goodbye, sadness! Hello, jokes