Potential People

Jack is just an average teenage boy

Whose father always told him, as he'd smack poor Jack to scold him

That a body is a tool, and not a toy

"Never touch yourself down here, no matter what you do!"

Said Father, grabbing Jack, and almost shaking him in two

But late one night when all of the house was quiet

Jack got awful curious as to what made Dad so furious

And decided he would go ahead and try it

Every night behind the bathroom door

Squatting on his haunches, he lunges forth and launches

A thick genetic mess upon the floor

Once again, the liquid legions fly

A quivering cascade condemned to die

And they wilt for a while on the porcelain tile

Dead and drying as they're trying, in a wet white pile of foam

To be home again, back in the sac, as they curdle and crack

All because of a jerk called Jack

Floating in the Xs and the Ys

Spasm after spasm of perfect protoplasm

As half a future genius slowly dies

Once again, the liquid legions fly

A quivering cascade condemned to die

And they wilt for a while on the porcelain tile

Dead and drying as they're trying, in a wet white pile of foam

To be home again, back in the sac, as they curdle and crack

All because of a jerk called Jack

Breaking down the doors with flailing fists

The Eagle Forum has landed, and jack is caught red-handed

By a midnight mob of Catholic activists

"You've spilled the seed of God!" the leader whines

And she incites the night's stampeeding

Till our boy lies bruised and bleeding

While they gird his groin with planks and protest signs

Then as quickly as they'd come, the gang was gone

No more jacking Jack upon the john