Not My Own

I've had enough, I've had enough

I've taken all this time in my head

No further along, I can't resolve

Stop wondering why, it's such a silly question

Pardon my misdirection

I tend to reflect when I'm feeling threatened

I know I'm just a bag of bones

So then why the ache inside?

My life is not my own

Or at least not what it seems

The child before with brightest dreams

Awoken to unflinching reality

I can claim I have control

But the truth never listens to you or me

The sooner that I am crushed by time

The sooner I can finally be set free

Can we be free?

Remember Katie back in high school

And the way she smiled and smelled when she flipped her hair?

Remember staring at the ceiling and the pit inside your stomach

When you found out she doesn't care and

Remember listening to your best friend tell

Her abuser that she will be alright and

Remember feeling like a feeling maybe felt a little freeing

But forgot that you were dead inside?

I've got perspective now and the world isn't so small

But this reality make me just not want

Want to live at all

My life is not my own

Or at least not what it seems

The child before with brightest dreams

Awoken to unflinching reality

I can claim I have control

But the truth never listens to you or me

The sooner that I am crushed by time

The sooner I can finally be set free

Can we be free?

I'm at the ending, I see my family

But we're not broken, we are mending

And all my loved ones, they are surrounding

The fear inside my heart escaping

And suffering has lost its meaning

And grief and joy, they are both dancing

I hold them close and tell them: I'm sorry

And they just smile and say: You were never alone

You were never alone

This life is cruel, but has potential

There's something greater than we know

Why have meaning when there's no meaning?

The evolution of our understanding

Creating purpose where pain resided

And telling ourselves that it's normal

If this is living, then tell me

What do I do now?

Do we all just carry on?

Can we all just carry on?

My life is not my own

Or at least not what it seems

The child before with brightest dreams

Awoken to unflinching reality

I can claim I have control

But the truth never listens to you or me

The sooner that I am crushed by time

The sooner I can finally be set free

My life is not my own

Or at least not what it seems

The child before with brightest dreams

Awoken to unflinching reality

I can claim I have control

But the truth never listens to you or me

The sooner that I am crushed by time

The sooner I can finally be set free

Can we be free?