Fear Of Flying

Phyllis was a physicist,

a fairly good ventriloquist,

a free-lance photographer

but don?t call her a feminist.

Some challenges she?d nail

on the very first try,

but she felt like a failure

for she was afraid to fly.

Our friend the ace in physics

found herself in a great fix:

had to book a flight from Philly

to her family out in Phoenix.

F-f-fear of flying made her

positively petrified

But she could brave math equations;

she could face her fear and fly.

Fortunately our feisty physicist

found a fancy, pricey therapist

Felix P. Fellini

Neo-Freudian psychologist

(the P stands for Phredrick)

He said Phyllis, first and foremost

we must identify

whether your father or your mother

made you so afraid to fly.

Our physicist got physical

confronting her fears

pounding on pillows

chastising empty chairs

After four thousand dollars

and forty thousand tears,

although she?s still afraid to fly,

at least now she can tell you why.

(Maybe she doesn?t fully understand... but she?s so close)

She met her friend the phrenologist

who was once a pharmacologist

until 1967

when he met up with a Marxist

but that?s another story

I may bore you by and by.

For now let?s stick to Phyllis

who is still afraid to fly.

The former pharmacologist

gave Phyllis a flask

of a pretty potent potion

He said Put on this medical mask.

It?s flammable fluid

What?s in it? Don?t ask.

But if you want to learn to fly,

this stuff is sure to get you high.

(I mean, metaphorically, of course.

By the way, you have some very interesting bumps on your head)

Phyllis of Philadelphia

finally felt free of phobia

Fifteen hours later she found herself

in Florida

waxing philosophic

with a fellow Gemini

How she got there, she?s forgotten.

Now she?s more afraid to fly.

Though phobic about airports

she phoned that very night

She said Look, I need to book

a f-f-f-f-f-f-flight.

Have you got one to Phoenix?

Tomorrow? Alright.

Sure, tomorrow?s fine for me to fly.

Oh my.

She boarded the plane

with her Walkman playing Streisand

Frozen to her seat, about to greet

the friendly skies and

when the wheels left the asphalt,

she could feel It?s do or die.

When she forced her eyes open

she was floating in the sky

And it was fabulous, fantastic,

it was even kind of fun

It felt freeing to be flying

so much closer to the sun.

And when the flight was over

she cried Look how far I?ve come.

Why flee from fear when I can fly?

There?s the greatest high .

You can see if you are able

there?s a moral to this fable.

You?re safe and sound on the ground

it?s comfy staying stable

Fighting diffidence can be difficult

we can all identify.

But if you face your fear and do it

you may find that you can fly.