Sleep

If I'd had know that from the minute I was born

That the price of my existence

Would be the weight of expectation

Then I wouldn't fucking be here

How can I focus on the life I'm "supposed to lead"

When everyday I struggle with existing?

I've dug a hole so deep in my mind that I can no longer see

The light of the sun, and I can no longer hear the voices

Of people I love

And I've been breaking my hands

Trying to carry the burden

That I've placed on myself

I'm so afraid of the end

I've lead myself to believe

I may never be happy again

I think the hardest part of all

Is trying to justify self-deprecation when I am

Constantly surrounded by sources

Of love and affection

I know that I'm not on my own

But I can't shake the feeling

That I'm in this alone

There's no one that I feel safe with

All I've wanted for so long

Is to succumb to a sleep

That I am not afraid of

Give me the strength to love myself

As I am told that I am loved

May I believe, despite my doubt

That someday I'll be good enough

Hindsight is a miserable thing

When you don't know where you're going

And you don't care where you've been