I Buy My Socks On 14th Street

Hey!

Time to get up, will you hand me my slippers?

And I'll take my orange juice in a brandy snifter

I'm a great lover and a better listener

Huh? What? Did you say somethin'? Were you talking to me?

All I see is used condom wrappers on the floor

Tricks' numbers on post-its by the door

I'll only call back if I want some more

And that's the life I live when I'm not on tour

You knew I was the new Don Juan when you saw me

And you smelled the co-log-ne I just sprayed on me

And I know I'm nice

Santa don't have to check his list twice

Here's some advice don't share your keys

Or you might end up with Hepatitis B

Buy my CD, mind your Q's and P's

And always say "Cheese" for the paparazzis

See I don't really care what people think

And I don't really care what people do

See you don't know me and I don't know you

And what? And what? And what? And what?

When I hopped the train I always take the seat

I don't remember the names of the people I meet

I don't need a car because I got two feet

And I buy my socks on 14th Street

Why's everybody always looking at me?

Is it coz' I jerk off for my webcam for free?

Coz' I'm picking my nose when I'm thinking somethin'

And pullin' the lint out my belly button?

(Hey!) I came from Massachusetts and I don't give two shits

Watch me pop two zits in your grits

I got enthusiasm of a muscle spasm

And I'm gonna show my magic wism-rasm-ma-tasm-and-chizasm

Yeah, I'm truckin' fast

Sweating like my ass crack in yoga class

So pass that dutch, I wanna get fucked up

Until the Sun goes down and comes back up

Then goes back down and comes back up

Then down, then down, then down, and up!

Have you had enough or do you want some more?

I put my Adidas Magnums on and I'm out the door

See I don't really care what people think

And I don't really care what people do

See you don't know me and I don't know you

And what? And what? And what? And what?

When I hopped the train I always take the seat

I don't remember the names of the people I meet

I don't need a car because I got two feet

And I buy my socks on 14th Street

So I'm on 14th Street, right?

And my look head to toe is tight

Till I hit the highway on the west end

I bumped into one of my shady friend

His name is Jake from way upstate

He wants to know if I'll take some Peruvian flakes

He said "Make it hot, take a ride in my car!"

I said 'Let me think about that for about 8 bars'

No I don't think so, I gotta buy some socks though

I'll party tonight when the mood is right

Just get the hood and don't be a hater

I'll be out tonight , Alright, catch you later

See I don't really care what people think

And I don't really care what people do

See you don't know me and I don't know you

And what? And what? And what? And what?

When I hopped the train I always take the seat

I don't remember the names of the people I meet

I don't need a car because I got two feet

And I buy my socks on 14th Street