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Hey everybody welcome out tonight

Hope you're having a good time out there

Don't forget the waitresses and a coming up next

We got sheena on the main stage

Athena on the disco

And don't forget we got

:(chorus) take it off baby

: those recliner dancers in the back

: stick around and get those dollar bills out guys and tip tip tip

Take it off baby

Take it off baby

Well here's how this whole mess got started

Had a stripper at a bachelor party

I knew when she jumped out of that cake

We were meant to be

The next date we both flew off to vegas

I must have been an ignoramus

I honestly believed that she

Loved me just for me

Oh...wasn't six months it came to an end

I walked out of the courtroom crying

She left with a grin

Cause she got half

And i said "ow!"

I mean dang

That comes to nearly fifty thou

Per date

My butt had never been so chafed

Cause she got half

I wondered if i'd remain lonely

Or would i find my one and only

Then the answer to my prayers

Appeared on my tv

(call me now)

The cutest little tarot card reader

I knew that i just had to meet her

Then she said it was in the cards

For her to marry me

Oh...wasn't three months later i was in court again

No way she could have predicted

The way it would end

Cause i got half

And she said "ow!"

Two dollars a minute

So everyone call right now

Your

Future awaits

And i will be the next bill gates

Cause i get half

Sometimes you're better off as friends

Cause if it ever ends

Then they get half

And you'll say "ow"

So i'm not looking to get married right now

I've

Got a date

With a beautiful playboy playmate

Who won't get half

No she won't get half