Five Dollar Bill

CHORUS:

I wrote my new song on a five dollar bill

But I won't be able to sing it until

I get hot on the trail for to pick up the track

Of the dirty little thief and get my five bucks back

I first got the five dollars from a Montana man

When he come across the line with a pistol in his hand

He said gimme all your money but I got to his first

And I took his Colts too and the whole first verse

You see you couldn't buy liquor in the States back then

So we saddled up the ponies and we loaded up the gin

Rode underneath the shadow of the grande Old Chief

To git some northern Rocky Mountain kinda tax relief

You couldn't count on the cattle when the market got down

And the veterinary bills to the doctor in town

Both kids needed shoes and they had to get fed

And a big old bank lien was over my head

CHORUS

They wouldn't stop talking about Canadian rye

Bouquet and the palate and it's crisp and it's dry

In a Seagrams bottle, tasted mighty top shelf

I said "well, thank you very much, sir, I cooked it myself"

Of course, that didn't wash with the boys down south

Judging by the stream of color coming out of their mouth

Though I can't figure why, cuz from where I stood

It got 'em just as damn drunk as any store bought would

CHORUS

Well, he come stormin' cross the border with six or eight guys

Some damn fool saw fit to deputize

But there weren't no sheriff nor a marshall in sight

I guess the lawman was up drinkin' whiskey all night

He said gimme all your money but I got to his first

And I took his Colts too and the whole third verse

But he picked my back pocket; worked the five bucks loose

I had tucked in behind a can a Copenhagen snoose

CHORUS

The dirty little double dealing, son-of-a-gun-of-a song stealin', chicken eatin' thief

And get my five bucks back