Jessica Alba's Number
Read Jessica Alba's Number lyrics by Cosmo Jarvis on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Jessica Alba's Number
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
When I'm watching TV,
The girls are all I see,
They're singing and dancing
And acting and modelling,
None of them would look at me.
If I went to Jessica Simpson,
She'd think I was an ignoramus,
And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz,
She'd say "get lost boy, I'm famous!"
All the women 'round here,
Have BO or they have rolls,
And some lucky bloke right now,
Is probably hugging Beyonce Knowles.
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
I'd call her right up,
And I'd ask her what she's doing
At half past three,
And then I'd ask her
If she'd marry me,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world,
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe,
And then some dick would try
To steal her purse,
So I'd smack him in the head
With my mobile phone and I'd say,
"Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!"
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
When fit girls get shot in films
I'm always in tears,
I'd like to go see Toy Story 2,
With just me and Britney Spears,
And then she'd say "Hit me baby,
One more time", and I'd say:
"No way Britney,
Domestic Violence is a crime",
I like the one from Showgirls,
When she's dancing
'Round those poles,
Or the really, really fit one,
Who sings in the Pussycat Dolls.
I've nearly got a moustache,
And they still wouldnt talked at me,
Kate Winslet naked in Titanic,
Or the lesbian from the OC.
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
I'd call her right up,
And I'd ask her what she's doing
At half past three,
And then I'd ask her
If she'd marry me,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world,
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe,
And then some dick would try
To steal her purse,
So I'd smack him in the head
With my mobile phone and I'd say,
"Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!"
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
If I had Jennifer Lopez's number,
Or Kate Nash's Number,
Or the girl who was in
Transformers' number,
Or Jessica Alba's number...
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "Jessica Alba's Number"?
Cosmo Jarvis performs "Jessica Alba's Number", and this lyric page sits inside the Cosmo Jarvis catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Jessica Alba's Number"?
Yes. The related section below points to Betty and Blame It On Me with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Cosmo Jarvis?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Cosmo Jarvis's lyric pages.
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
What people are saying
No listener comments on Jessica Alba's Number yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.