I Hate Everything But You

The smell of water, kids screaming with joy

I've hated crap like that since I was a boy

While everyone was laughing and having so much fun

I would mutter, this sucks, ’til the day was done

I detested most stuff and I still do

You see, I hate everything but you

I hate the feeling of the sun when it hits my skin

I don't like bands that have a guy on mandolin

I hate when people post pictures with the hashtag mood

I hate when people call blueberries a superfood

I hate when someone says: Oooh, it's magic hour!

Or when people actually stop and smell a flower

I hate white women who call their engagement rings bling

Oh yes, I hate everything

But you

More examples!

I hate guys who read magazines devoted to golf

Hate Frisbee golf, and when people call Frisbee golf frolf

I hate when people ask me if I’d ever get a tattoo

Hate combination conditioner and shampoo

I hate doing The Wave at a baseball game

I hate couples with a cutesy couple name

I hate when someone says a joke and someone else says, zing!

Oh yes, I hate everything

But you

'Cause when I look into your eyes and I see you smile

When you laugh at yourself and we talk for a while

Just for a moment, I forget

How much I hate it when people say: Gotta jet!

Even more examples!

I hate when people say they're going off the grid

Or when someone calls their baseball cap their lid

I hate models who just happen to date quarterbacks

I hate grown men who always quote Caddyshack

I hate the phrase Love conquers all, and I hate that it's true

'Cause I want to not hate things when I'm with you

You love so many things and you have so much fun

It makes me wish my hating days were done

And there's one thing I want you to know

I'll always hate guys who name their cars