Jap Battle (Reprise) (feat. Rachel Bloom & Rachel Grate)

[Audra]

All of our lives you were toxic

Obnoxious

Now though, you've brought me from nauseous to naches

I'm proud of you, Bunch

You're a grown-up, you got this

Kol hakavod, you're a goddess

[Rebecca]

Me?!

But you're so responsible

Career's on sizzle

Husband, ditto

Three great kiddos

You've got competence, class

Plus a skinny-ass waist

And a toned-ass ass

[Audra]

Well, you've got a free spirit, which I see and commend

So, like 2 Chainz without the NZ at the end

I wish you double chai

For following the tug

Of the heart behind your 36 triple-D jugs

[Rebecca]

Wow, what a boost for my confidence!

[Audra]

Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it up

I'm pretty good at giving compliments

[Rebecca]

Nice bubble, Bubbeleh, I really hate to pop it

But nobody's got a plaudit any hotter than I drop it

[Audra & Rebecca]

This is

[Audra]

A JAP praise fight

[Audra & Rebecca]

Half affirmation

[Rebecca]

Half cage fight

[Audra & Rebecca]

Killing you with kindness

[Audra]

Yeah, you're dang right

[Audra & Rebecca]

It's a head-to-head yasher koach mazel tov off

[Rebecca]

You know what?

Let's squash it, you're awesome

[Audra]

Seconded! Same!

Rebecca-wise, my game recognize game

[Rebecca]

Thanks, I appreciate that

[Audra]

Yeah, I mean, there's a reason I'm called Esteem queen Levine

[Rebecca]

Can it with the accolades-slash-shade-catapulting

You are the one who is great at adulting

All your hard work, ultimately resulting in triumph

[Audra]

Damn, that's some sneaky insulting

Skip the emotional judo

I am the B. Knowles-Carter of kudos

[Rebecca]

I'm the Lebron James of acclaim

[Audra]

Then you might as well call me the Michelle of the kvell

[Rebecca]

Go to hell!

[Audra & Rebecca]

This is

[Audra]

A JAP cheer scrimmage

[Audra & Rebecca]

Like a rap battle

[Rebecca]

But the mirror image

[Audra & Rebecca]

Both of us'll feel great

[Audra]

When we're finished

[Rebecca]

Giving a dope-slap of dap to this JAP

Which does stand for Jewish-American Princess

A term that, on one hand, does reinforce negative

Negative stereotypes about both Jews

And women but, on the other hand

Is a term that we want to reclaim and own

Also, should acknowledge that me saying dap to this jap

Is appropriative and a little problematic

If we’re being honest

This is touchy stuff and it's pretty complicated

But I noticed the dynamic and I thought that I should name it

Just like I hated you, but now I kinda like you

This song's another thing I can see two sides to

[Audra]

Terrific self-awareness

[Rebecca]

Knock it off, Audra!

You never stop, do you?

[Audra]

Can't and don't wanna

[Rebecca]

You're a wonderful lady

But an insufferable baby

[Audra]

Should we make out?

[Rebecca]

What?! No!

Maybe