The Math of Love Triangles

[Rebecca]

What's a girl to do when she's stuck between men

It's like she's a Barbie with two perfect Kens

But wait, it just occurred to me

Maybe I can solve this with geometry

Yes, smarts can help this sitchywation untangle

So professors, teach me

The math of love triangles

Yay, time for book facts!

[Teachers]

A triangle is a polygon

With three edges and three vertices

Take the base times the height, cut that in half

To find the area of the surfaces

[Rebecca]

Uh-huh, I wasn't really listening, but I can see

The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!

The math of love triangles

Isn't hard to learn

[Teachers]

You're not taking in what we're saying

We're a little bit concerned

[Rebecca]

Yes, the math of love triangles

Is as simple as can be

Whichever Tom or Dick I might pick

The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!

[Teachers]

Actually a triangle has multiple centers

This triangle's scalene

[Rebecca]

That's astute

So I need to decide which man's more acute

[Teachers]

Here's Pythagoras' Theorem

[Rebecca]

Will this help me choose?

If not I'll be swinging from a hypote-noose

[Teachers]

Let's take a look at what this line bisects

[Rebecca]

Is that spelled B-I-S-E-X?

[Teachers]

Those are good puns but please pay attention

[Rebecca]

Oh no, professors, am I facing suspension?

Whee, a swing! It's literal suspension!

The math of love triangles

Isn't hard to learn

[Teachers]

We're starting to suspect

You don't sincerely want to know about triangles

[Rebecca]

Yes, the math of love triangles

Is as simple as can be

I need to choose between men, but until then

The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me

Is this a triangle?

[Teachers]

No, that's a shoe

[Rebecca]

Is this a triangle?

[Teachers]

No, that's you

[Rebecca]

So I'm a triangle?

[Teachers]

What? No

[Rebecca]

One, two, three, six, eight, three, go!

[Matt]

You don't seem to know how to count

[Scott]

We are sincerely worried about you

[Rebecca]

Catch me!

[Jeff]

You're ruining the number!

[Teachers]

This angle's right

[Rebecca]

Which angle's right?

[Teachers]

No, not right like correct

[Rebecca]

Ooh, are you erect?

[Teachers]

No, 90 degrees

[Rebecca]

That's really erect!

The math of love triangles

Is super duper fun

[Teachers]

We're tired of all your tangents

That's also a triangle pun

[Rebecca]

Ooh, thanks for teaching me man math!

You all deserve a kiss

[Teachers]

Lady, we're all gay

We get nothing out of this

[Rebecca]

Neither man will notice

My learning disability

'Cause the center of the triangle

Is lil' old

Sexy little baby

Me!