Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Canonical path: /crazy-ex-girlfriend/the-miracle-of-birth
Related lyric paths: 6
Video embedded: yes
Lyric guide
The Miracle Of Birth
Read The Miracle Of Birth lyrics by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Lyrics
The Miracle Of Birth
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
Of all the mystery and wonder
And beauty on this earth
Nothing can compare to
The miracle of birth
Well your cervix has been closed
And plugged with mucus
But soon that viscous plug
Will be discharged
It’s called ‘bloody show
And explosive diarrhea
Means that labor's drawing nearer
And those sharp painful contractions
Cause your cervix to enlarge
Beautiful!
Then you race your ass
Over to the hospital
Where they’ll strap you in
For the hell ride of your life
It’s what your body’s made for
You’ll soon be in so much pain
That you’ll probably exclaim
Please just kill me now
Doctor, doula, or midwife
Tear, tear, tear
Goes your vagina!
Never will it be
Its cute little self again
But the good news is
If you have a few more kids
The rest will basically
Plop right out
After hours and hours
Of utter torture
You may poop yourself and/or
Throw up as you bear down
Cause you’re a goddess!
And though you’ve never
Been this tired—Wait!
Here comes the ring of fire
That’s your vagina bursting
Into flames as the head
Starts to crown
Burn, burn, burn
Goes your vagina!
And you’ll curse and scream
Until you hear a cry!
It’s your baby!
And oops! There it went-a
That was the placenta
Which you must expel
Or you will surely die!
When it’s all over they place
The baby on your breast
You may be happy for a moment
But then for months you’ll be depressed
'Cause you’ve wrecked your life and body
You’ll think what’s it really worth?
All that for the miracle of birth!
Quick answers
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "The Miracle Of Birth"?
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend performs "The Miracle Of Birth", and this lyric page sits inside the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "The Miracle Of Birth"?
Yes. The related section below points to (Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick and Anti-Depressants Are So Not a Big Deal with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's lyric pages.
Song Room
Open Song Room
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
Listener comments
What people are saying
No listener comments on The Miracle Of Birth yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.