What's Your Story?

[Jessie]

The hell?

[Rebecca]

Story, story, what's your story?

Story, story, what's your crime?

What got you here?

Rage, lust, or fear?

We all got a story 'cause we're doing time

Ra ta ta

Ra ta ta

Ra ta ta

Tell your story

Ra ta ta

[Jessie]

Hum, ok, fine

My boyfriend had meth in the glove compartment

Of our car and I got pulled over

For something else and a cop found it

[Rebecca]

Oh! Well, did you dump that good-for-nothing drug planting boyfriend!

[Jessie]

No, we’re still together

I love him

[Rebecca]

Oh, well, did you at least tell the cops that it was his meth?

[Jessie]

I mean, I could have turned him in, but my boyfriend

And I have a son

I can’t risk our child having both parents in jail

[Rebecca]

That's true. That's-that's a good point

Story, story, let's hear another story

Story, story, that one was just sad

What does your story say

About the patriarch-ay?

We all have got stories 'cause we did bad

Ra ta ta

Ra ta ta

Ra ta ta

Story, go! Ra ta ta

[HANIFA]

Okay! I stole a sweater from the mall

[Rebecca]

Ooh! Had you been stealing all your life?

Was this the culmination of a life of kleptomania?

Or were you doing it to stick it to the problematic fashion industry?

[Hanifa]

No, the heat went out in my apartment

And I couldn’t afford a sweater, so I stole one

[White Inmate]

Oh my God, I stole a sweater too! I got two months, how long are you in for?

[Hanifa]

Three years

[White Inmate]

I'm so sorry

[Rebecca]

Story, story, these are barely stories

They're just bleak anecdotes with no start or end

Go tell-tell your story, tell your story

[Cybil]

Sure, I have a story. I'm in here for murder

[Rebecca]

Ooh! Murder! Juicy! Ra ta ta

[Cybil]

While I was driving, my daughter texted me

That she was in the hospital

And I got so distracted that

I hit a teenager who was crossing

The street and he died

[Rebecca]

Story, story, oh my God with that story

Story, story, take away her chair

[White Inmate]

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry

[Rebecca]

Okay, you know what, I’m just gonna share my story

Because you guys aren’t really versed

With a sense of story structure, so I’m gonna show you how it’s done

I was a no-good, manipulative love addict

With undiagnosed borderline personality disorder

I swindled! Drum! I cheated! Drum!

I called out a hit on my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend!

Drum, drum!

Then, one day, this guy Trent came into my life

He was ironically just like me

And he tried to kill the man I love, so I pushed him off a building!

And then, when I plead guilty just for like, metaphorical symbolism

The judge knew I was innocent so she didn’t accept my plea

But I wanted to go to jail anyway

[Jessie]

Wait, what?

[Cybil]

You don't have to be here?

[Jasmine]

You chose to be here?

[Rebecca]

Wait

Ra ta ta

Ra ta ta

Ra ta ta