Pine Tar Wars

Well, the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times

Carried the story in BIG HEADLINES

How Kansas City George was robbed that day

When Tar Baby Billy took his bat away

It was two men out in the top a' the ninth

It was one a' them classic settin's

The Goose on the mound in that Big Apple town

And George is up there battin'

As the crowd chants "Goose!"

He turns it loose

With fire and smoke and ash

George sends it deep

In the right field seats

Another timely crash

As he rounded third and he headed on home

Was a gleam in Billy's eye

Dick wondered "What's he up to now?

"I know this guy's real sly."

Billy grabbed the bat as both teams sat

In awe upon the benches

Says, "There ya are! That there's pine tar!

"An' it's a whole lot more'n eighteen inches!"

[Chorus]

Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?

Did you cry about the game last night?

Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?

All you wanna do is fight

You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes

That's the way you've always been

So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag

And rub it in your face again

So Tim thought it through, and he asked the crew

Then with bat in hand, he shouted

"You're out! The home run just don't count!

"I'm gonna have ta disallow it!"

Well, the sky was clear and the day was hot

But George was even hotter

'Till Lee got wise, and said "Hey, you guys!

"This claim ain't a-gonna hold water."

[Chorus]

Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?

Did you cry about the game last night?

Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?

All you wanna do is fight

You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes

That's the way you've always been

So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag

And rub it in your face again

Well, the fans was riled and suits was filed

To create a long dee-lay

Then Billy's team, apparently,

Was just afraid to play

Now the stage was set and Billy bet

That he had the upper hand

But Billy was fooled when the big court ruled

"You gonna play this game, as planned!"

[Chorus]

Well, Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?

Did you cry about the game last night?

Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?

All you wanna do is fight

You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes

That's the way you've always been

So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag

And rub it in your face again

With affidavits (notarized)

That George had touched 'em all

The umpire said, "We a step ahead.

"Gonna put an end to Billy Ball."

"We done heard the call for Billy Ball

"We ain't never gonna hear it again

"Just like the cheer for Billy's Beer

"When the Democrats was in."

Now the game they played that summer day

Won't be famous for the scores

But the incidents that have happened since

Will be remembered as TAR WARS

[Chorus]

Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?

Did you cry about the game last night?

Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?

All you wanna do is fight

You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes

That's the way you've always been

So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag

And rub it in your face again