Nightmares

Nightmares

[ Dane ]

Hello, I'd like to see Dr. Slumber, please

[ doctor's assistant ]

Ah - do you have an appointment, sir?

[ Dane ]

No, I don't

But tell the Doctor it's urgent that I see her

[ doctor's assistant ]

Well - just one moment

Dr. Slumber?

Dr. Slumber, there's a young man out here named -

Excuse me, what is your name?

[ Dane ]

Oh, tell her it's Dana Dane

[ doctor's assistant (hysterically) ]

Hhhh... D-D-Dana D-D-DANE?!

OH NO!

OH, YOU CAN COME RIGHT IN!

COME RIGHT IN, RIGHT NOW!

COME ON IN...!

[ Dane ]

Thank you, thank you

Well, I walked into the office, what did I see?

A well-shaped body with the back to me

Sittin in her chair with an all-white gown

Said said (Dana Dane, won't you please lay down?)

She said that she wouldn't reveal her face

Till my hour was up and I was on my way

Now we got to the matter of why I came there

I said, "Doc, I keep havin these crazy nightmares"

Nightmares of the night (nightmares)

Nightmares, they're alright (nightmares)

Cause they just show imagination of reality (nightmares)

Just keep telling yourself that they're make-believe (nightmares)

She said, "Relax yourself, won't you tell me one

So I can diagnose and see what must be done"

I laid back my head, start to inhale

Caught my breath, and then I said, "Well -

Bright one morning I was late for class

Had a fresh pair of frames with Gucci on the glass

Girls they was hawking, dudes they was talkin

Saw the doggy-dogg female, I kept on walkin

She was on it hard, there was no denyin

Shoulda seen what this female was tryin

Grabbin on my shirt, tuggin on my slacks

Pullin on my zipper board, I had to hold her back

Word up, Doc, on the ultimate

Now if I never saw a creature, this girl was it

I kept on walkin, had to leave this place

But she was all up on me, breathin in my face

You may think I'm lyin though it's just a dream

This girl had the baddest breath I'd ever seen

I couldn't think straight, thought I was doomed

Heard a bling-bling-bling, it was time for homeroom

I stepped real quick, she tried to play it sassy

She almost ran me down, this nasty fatnastee

Dipped to the stairs, running blind

Get to my homeroom, ran through my mind

Got to the 4th floor, standin in the door

Girlies watchin me walk down the corridor

The guys they were jealous and gettin mad

And all the girlies wishin they had the class I had

Got to my classroom, expect to see the teacher

Who did I see? That ugly black creature

Paused for a minute standin in the door

Then I broke out when the girlie went raw

Word em up, Doc, couldn't stand the smell

Heard of 3D? Well, she was fat as hell

I ran out the school, I didn't look back

I tell you, Dr. Slumber, this girl was wack

And that's about the time when I awoke

And I smelled that awful breath that almost made me choke

Now tell me, Dr. Slumber, how can it be?

That this dream somehow became reality?

I can't go to sleep, cause I'm so damn scared

Cause I keep havin these crazy nightmares"

Nightmares of the night (nightmares)

Nightmares, they're alright (nightmares)

Cause they just show imagination of reality (nightmares)

Just keep telling yourself that they're make-believe (nightmares)

(Nightmares)

She said, "Listen, Dana Dane, I think I have the cure

But I have to hear one more before I'll be sure"

I laid back my head, tried to concentrate

Then I told her the nightmare 'bout the blind date

Had a blind date with this girl named Anita

The Fever's the place I'm supposed to meet her

Saw the def body with the vicious butt

How did I know she was a marvelous mutt

This lady I met was as ugly as hell

Couldn't go in the jam with this female

I was coughin hard, she started to braggin

Couldn't let them know I was here with this dragon

Grabbed her hand, dipped to Harlem World

But I left this ugly lady for another girl

Now this other female, her name was Denise

Couldn't get no rapture, there followed the beast

Everywhere I turn, everywhere I look

There was Anita the beast, she could not be shook

I dipped, I dived, I ran, I thrived

But there was no place that I could hide

Cause she was sniffin me out like a hungry blood hound

Her tail in the air, her nose to the ground

Only thing left for me to do

Was to set her up with this other dude

Now this other dude, he was real upset

Cause this ugly female he didn't wanna check

He started actin wild, even called me a faggot

What could I do, he had a .22 automatic

I dipped into the crowd, made my way to the door

Bumped into this object and I hit the floor

When I looked up, what did I see?

I saw Anita the Beast lookin down at me

I couldn't try to play it, couldn't try to pretend

Like the AFTCA I had to take the dog in

Nightmares of the night (nightmares)

Nightmares, they're alright (nightmares)

Cause they just show imagination of reality (nightmares)

Just keep telling yourself that they're make-believe (nightmares)

(Nightmares)

Now I pleaded, "Dr. Slumber, I just can't bare

To have another one of these crazy nightmares"

Then all of a sudden she turned around

And starin at me with that all-white gown

With a Catholic smile, showin all her teeth

Was that ugly female, Anita the Beast...

[ Dr. Slumber, her sweet, soft voice turning horrifying ]

Dana?

Dana, honey, wake up!

What's wrong?

Wake up, honey

You are just... HAVING A NIGHTMARE!

A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!