The Blues Song

We can stand naked on the corner of Main Street, baby, and

Let everybody slow down and take a look

You can drive your Cadillac to the library, baby, and maybe read the

Last ten pages of an Agatha Christie book

You can feed my cat to my dog

And turn around and feed my dog to my horse

You can screw the whole damn royal family, baby, until they

All get a divorce

Baby, baby, baby

Baby, you can do anything you wanna do, baby

I swear it will not bother me

Cause, baby, you know

Baby, you know you've got to

You've got to

You've got to be what you're going to be

You can burn down the orphanage, baby, over there on the

Poor side of town

You can go to the circus, baby, frighten the elephants

See if you can get them to maybe,

Trample a clown

You can steal the prize out of my box of cereal, baby, and

Replace it with a rat

You can walk up to someone who might be a little overweight

And be kinda sensitive about it and say

"Oh my god, you're really fat!"

Live and let live, baby

That's the cornerstone

The very essence of my philosophy

And baby

Baby, you know

You know you've got to

You've got to

You've got to be what you're going to be

I'm gonna play my harmonica

Since i charge $35 a note I'm not gonna play much of my harmonica

You see the blues

The blues isn't an art form

It's not a type of music

The blues is a product

Not unlike computer chips or tampons

The blues is a way for white kids to feel

That they understand the feelings of black people

Without ever having to meet any of them

The blues is all these things and more

Available for $19.95

Oh, baby

Baby, you can do whatever you wanna do, baby

Baby, you know it's not going to bother me

Cause baby you know

You know you've got to

You've got to be what you're going to be

Here comes the solo!

Ooh, and what a solo it is

You know

That might not be the blues but it sure makes me sad

Listen, in the distance

The sound of Leadbelly rolling in his grave

I've said it before, baby

I'll say it again

Live and let live

The very essence, the cornerstone

The summit of my philosophy

Baby, baby, you know

Baby, you know you've got to

You've got to be what you're going to be

A blues man needs a nickname

And everybody calls me Two Shoes

Cause i always wear two shoes

I know it's not much of a nickname

But by the time i got around to getting my nickname

All the good ones were taken

Take for example Blind Lemon Lipschitz

Blind Lemon Lipschitz gouged out his own eyes with his thumbnails

So he could be called blind lemon

It's true, don't laugh

He felt the very essence of the blues, calling him from within

And he felt that contract too

Oh, baby

Baby, you know

Baby, you know you can do whatever you do

I don't care

I don't give a damn, baby

It's not gonna bother me

Cause baby, baby, b-b-b-b-b-b-b

You gotta

You gotta

You gotta

You gotta

You gotta be

You gotta be what you're going to be