Ash Ketchum VS Charles Darwin

[Ash Ketchum]

Darwin wants to battle?

Doesn't seem like a fight

But this should be fun

I've yet to catch the ghost type

Got the highest speed stat

Drop raps lightning fast

Open my pockets and go! (Charizard!)

On your ass

'Cause I'm Ash

And that's A to "shush"

I don't care how many beatles and

Butterflies you squoosh

Your earthworms can't beat

These magical beasties

Your shit talking mouth is the origin of feces

You got candy raps

Reese's Pieces

In this ecosystem

I'm the dominant species

When it's time to train

I turn to Pikachu

But when I need a weak verse

I choose you!

[Charles Darwin]

Hello there

Welcome to a world called Earth

Where actual minds

Do ground breaking work

If you're looking for the fittest

I'm the natural selection

You're so ineffective

You couldn't even turn 11

What you spit's just not hard hitting enough

It's kids stuff!

You're soft like a Jigglypuff

You got no Game Boy

So you'll get the broom quick

The real Ash packs a much bigger boomstick!

I'm a masterful naturalist

What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap

On your laughable list

My research reserved the first words of the church

You measure your worth

By the sales of your merch

[Ash Ketchum]

Yo, I'm real quick

This dude spent 8 years studying barnacle dick

Kick it

You think I'm impressed by your boat trip?

Please

You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle

Since fleas

You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea

Set sail and Galápago-suck on these

[Charles Darwin]

Look

Mighty Morphin Michael Vick

Your animated slave fights make me sick

When I battle a foe

From so simple a beginning

I'm not Charles Sheen

But I am Dar-winning

[Ash Ketchum]

Man, if that's true

Then natur is cruel

'Cause the only thing you're winning

Is your cousin's gene pool

You lost three children

While they were still small

TB and scarlet fever

Gotta catch 'em all!

[Charles Darwin]

It took millions of years

For mankind to evolve

Now they're hunched over cellphones

Playing with your balls

And it was hard

Losing my daughters and their brother

As hard as the wood

That Oak gave your mother