Billy Mays VS Ben Franklin

[Ben Franklin]

I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty

Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of philly

You couldn't sell rick james a bag of crack, you're out of practice

My victory more certain than death or taxes

Fact is you're a hack, wack QVC joke

You peddle soap that cleans bird shit from my windows

I'll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in

Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it's death of a salesman

[Billy Mays]

Hi, Billy Mays here with a special TV offer

Watch me crush this bald fat foppish founding father

I'll take my awesome auger and sow your quaker oats

I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats

I'm lord of the pitch and leader in home sales

You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail

Benny's got kite'n key but you're in for a shock

When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod cock

[Ben Franklin]

Stop! I protest these intolerable raps

It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your ass

Cause I'm mint! I'm money! I'm an educated gentleman

So join or die Bill, cause it's all about the benjamin

[Billy Mays]

But wait there's more!

Is there anyone out there who can finish this battle?

Anyone?

Anyone?

[Vince Offer]

I can!

You following me camera guy? Cause it's about to get furious

You're gonna love my nuts until you're bi-focal-curious

Your boy George chopped down trees you couldn't break a piece of balsa

Slap chop your face make a double chin salsa

Your style's so broke they call you poor Richard

It's bad enough I got to see you every time I tip a stripper

Vince against a founding father is just too bad

Cause after this america is gonna lose a dad