Lewis and Clark VS Bill and Ted

[Lewis and Clark]

You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark

Cause we cut a path through emcees like a walk in the park

And give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts

Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked

We're two travelling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace

And we'll own you on the mic like the Louisiana Purchase!

You're worthless

Your future selves should've told you that

Now go back in time and give Doctor Who

His phone booth back

We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels

Rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks and eagles

And plus flora galore!

And according to our observations

These two dickweeds right here are severely endangered

We inspired pioneers and travelers near and far

You inspired air guitar and Dude, Where's My Car?

We conquered much greater dangers in our trek through Mother Nature

So step off, but tell Bill's stepmom

Don't be a stranger

[Bill and Ted]

Bill's mom is hot, but that joke was most heinous

I've heard better insults dropped from Socrates' anus

That's my stepmom, Ted Let's keep it excellent between us

And show these boy scouts how it goes in San Dimas

We're quick when we spit like Billy the Kid with his guns

And you'll be verbally kicked in the nut-Sacagawea-puns

A teen mom carried you and your troops

They should've let the baby lead, and put you in the papoose

And if those native dudes knew

What white dudes were gonna do

They woulda stopped you in Dakota

They should totally Sioux

Why don't you go back to exploring Napoleon's old swamps

Or you'll discover your Corps most triumphantly stomped

[Lewis and Clark]

Did you hear that, Meriwether?

I think they mean to brawl

I'll take Neo

I'll take the one that no one knows at all

From the Falls of Black Eagle to the Pacific

We put the "dis" in dysentery cause we spit sick

Without Rufus you'd be useless on all the trails we blazed

You couldn't navigate your way out of a Circle K

Send over Garth and Wayne, because you turkeys aren't worthy

Suffering your raps is a most bogus journey

[Bill and Ted]

Man, they totally burned us

I feel like such a doofus

What do we do?

I don't know

[Rufus]

Be Excellent

[Bill and Ted]

Rufus!

He's right, dude

We don't have to take this kind of abuse

From some Paul Bunyan dudes in potato sack shoes

You rode a river one direction

We travelled four dimensions

Rescued bodacious babes

And get back for detention

I've seen your future, Mr. Lewis

And I don't wanna be rude

But spoiler alert

You totally kill yourself, dude

So we offer you peace with these resplendent medallions

And we claim this battle for the Wyld Stallyns!