Steven Spielberg VS Alfred Hitchcock

[Steven Spielberg]

Picture a child sitting next to a projector

Learning from your films to become a much better director

Now picture a 3 billion dollar dream machine

Who can block bust all over your crop duster scene!

Try to Duel with me Alfred, ya must be Psycho

I'll bring back JAWS and take a bite of your Lifeboat

I'm Always so on the top of my game, I get the Vertigo

My jet's in the Terminal waiting for me to Murder! ya

I rocked the Academy and the DGA

You rock as many Oscars as that schlep Michael Bay

Next time you're filling up those jowls with three steaks and soufflé

Check the trade, see me Amblin to my next big play

I produce cartoons and make games for all ages

You produce Jimmy Stewart making one of two faces

Maybe next time I visit, you'll be a bit more gracious

Now kiss my full moon and just bask in my greatness!

[Alfred Hitchcock]

That was a Close Encounter of the Turd Kind

But there won't be a pretty ending this time

Half your billions should go to John Williams

Now brace yourself as I reveal my brilliance

I'm the master

Of suspense, so intense

No defense against Hitchcock once he presents

My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance

You're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers

Come on!

Fish puppets and Muppets to stir the fears up

I squeezed screams out of chocolate syrup

I'm the best mamma-jamma ever stood behind the camera

Damage panderers and haunt you like the last Indiana

[Quentin Tarantino]

Cut! Gimmie a Tylenol! Stop rhyming, y'all

Alfred, you got no style dawg, I'm the king of dialogue

There's only one movie I know you from

And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one

You tried to fight in World War One but couldn't do that

The British Army wouldn't let you join cause you were too fat

Look it up, it's a true fact, Wikipedia that

Now allow me to attack Steven the hack

Due to War of the Worlds a failure's what I label you

It looked like some sell-out bullshit Michael Bay would do

Ask anybody "What's your favorite Sam Jackson part?"

No one's gonna say

What's his name, from Jurassic Park?

Scripts that I write ain't the

Cleanest (Fuck!)

But when I grip mics I'm the

Meanest (Dick!)

Quentin Tarantino is a

Genius

A bad motherfucker from the wallet to the penis

[Stanley Kubrick]

Genius is a powerful word

But there's no reason to use it

'Less you're talking about the Kubrick

Then there's really nothing to it

Everything I do is visionary

Every single frame a painting made exactly how I wanna make it

Do another take and get it right

127 times

I'll make you learn to love me, I'm the bomb

Drop ultra-violent rhymes

Like Clockwork!

Make you all hurt, beat Spielberg the Color Purple

A.I. is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles

[Michael Bay]

That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you

Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do?

I swoop low with the telephoto

No Bruckheimer, I work solo

If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about

Motherfucking money!

I make that dollar, y'all

Motherfucking money!

Even make Mark Wahlberg make some

Motherfucking money

I set up shop and got a few drops of that Got Milk money

Rose to The Rock, now I got that socks made of silk money

I ain't got that guilt money

I don't give a fuck

I take my checks to the bank and I sign 'em with my nuts

I give the people what they love

While the critics say I'm evil

Got no time to read reviews

While I'm working on the sequel

Got a gift from above

And the eyes of an eagle

When it comes to blowing up

No director is my equal