Theodore Roosevelt VS Winston Churchill

[Theodore Roosevelt]

Bully!

A challenge!

I love competition!

Now where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston?

I'm into fitness, digging ditches through an isthmus!

Rough ridin' down to Cuba like

What's up, Bitches?!

I keep my rhymes pure, like my food and drugs

I'm an American stud

And you're the British Elmer Fudd!

I mean, for Christ's sake!

Look at that mug!

At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!

And let's face it

You're not all that great

You tossed away lives in Gallipoli

Like they were scraps off your plate!

Your whole miserable country is the size of one state!

I could see my way through running that

Without donning my Pince-nez!

Don't go toe to toe with me

You bloated drunk old man

Why don't you Do-Si-Do on over to a 12 step program?

I'll bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles

So walk softly over here and give my big stick a suckles!

[Winston Churchill]

Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy

I'm about to take you out prematurely

Like your family

I'm the Rhyme Minister

Fresh in a hat and dinner jacket

You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD

And a Pringles packet!

I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness

While you were back home opening national parks, yes!

You were born asthmatic, you're going to choke hard

While I wake up every day and chain smoke cigars!

I'll fight you on the beaches

I'll fight you on the beats, yes!

Any way you want to fight

I'll fight ya and I'll beat ya, see?

I might be battling you even though I'm toasted

But tomorrow I'll be sober

And you'll still be roasted!

[Theodore Roosevelt]

My parents died while they were young and it was morbid

But at least they didn't ditch me when they were alive

Like yours did

Oh shit!

World War Too soon?

Well Teddy's dropping bombs

So you best go hide in your tube!

You should be ashamed of your military honor

Everyone knows you're back home like

Thank God for Pearl Harbor!

Don't worry

The US will give you a pass

Just change your poster to keep calm

And kiss my cousin's ass

[Winston Churchill]

Steady there

I don't think it's very fair

For a British bulldog to melee with a Teddy Bear

You're no man, you're an overgrown Boy Scout

I should stuff you in a pram just so you can throw your toys out!

They put your fat head on a mountain to save face

But if Rushmore was a band

Then you'd play bass!

Look at Roosevelt

The dude's about to lose the bout to Churchill!

If a bullet to the chest won't stop you

My words will

[Theodore Roosevelt]

A bullet can't stop the Bull Moose!

TR will give WC the full deuce!

[Winston Churchill]

Whatever shit you throw at me

I'll just return to sender!

I'll battle to the end

And I will never surrender!