A tight-knit family/Love is Blind

[MARVIN]

Well, the situation's this

I do not wish to offend

I divorced my wife

I left my child

And I ran off with a friend

But I want a tight-knit family

I want a group that harmonizes

I want my wife and kid and friend

To pretend

Time will mend

Our pain

So it's nineteen seventy-nine

And we don't go by the book

We all eat as one—

Wife, friend, and son—

And I sing out as they cook

I love my tight-knit family

I love the way they cook linguine

Isn't it great? We're all so swell

Such a dear clientele

I swear we're gonna come through it

I fear we'll probably fight

But nothing's impossible

Live by your wit—

Kid, wife, and lover will have to admit

I was right

I cushioned the fall

I want it all

I want it all

I want it

I want it all

[MENDEL]

Sit down, my dear

I hear you have a problem

I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet

Take a load off your feet

[TRINA]

Thank you

[MENDEL]

Happy or sad?

[TRINA]

Well, I --

[MENDEL]

That's a question with no answer

Let's not discuss the weather, let's face the facts

Marvin's wife must relax

[TRINA]

Love isn't sex

That's a thing my husband once told me

Marvin, my ex-

You've seen him for years-

Told me over the phone to tell you my fears

Do you only treat queers?

[MENDEL (spoken)]

No

(Sung)

Breathe deep, my dear

You'll find me understanding

Your pain is a priori

Unfold your untold story

Now to break bread

Loosen your glands

Put your head in my hands

[TRINA]

I'm everything he wanted

It's time I put it all together

The date was set

My father let me marry

I married. I

Then Marvin came from work

Sat me down on the bed

He told me how he loved me

How needed and/or valued me

I have

[MENDEL]

What?

[TRINA / MARVIN]

Syphilis

[TRINA]

He said

[MENDEL]

Good

[TRINA]

I have

[MENDEL]

Yes?

[TRINA /MARVIN]

Syphilis

[TRINA]

It's true

[MENDEL]

Good

[TRINA]

I had something rotten

Which appears though now it's well forgotten

[MARVIN]

Maybe, darling, so do you

[TRINA]

Maybe, darling, so do you

[TRINA]

I am probably diseased

[MENDEL]

You're a lovely girl

[TRINA]

And so easily appeased

[MENDEL]

What a lovely girl, though she's possibly diseased

[TRINA]

He took pains to not excite us

He explains I've

[TRINA / MARVIN]

Hepatitis

[TRINA]

Too

[MARVIN, JASON, AND WHIZZER]

Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis

[MENDEL]

Love is blind

Love can tell a million stories

Love's unkind

Spiteful in a million ways

[TRINA]

Then I stayed home from work

Took good care of my men

They faked despair, they wet their bed

They combed their hair, they acted dead

One said

[MENDEL]

Yes?

[JASON]

Daddy is a prick

[MENDEL]

What?

[TRINA]

He said

[MENDEL]

Yes?

[JASON]

Daddy isn't mine

[MENDEL]

Good

[TRINA]

He filled my coats

With candies and notes

With "Will you be my valentine?"

[MARVIN (To Whizzer)]

Will you be my valentine?

[TRINA]

This gets harder to believe

[MENDEL]

You're a damaged girl

[TRINA]

I've a scalpel up my sleeve

[FOUR MEN]

What a damaged girl

[MENDEL]

Do not ever slit your wrists

[TRINA]

I've missed him; he's still missing

Don't make noise, but daddy's kissing

Boys

[ALL]

Petty, petty, petty, petty

[MENDEL AND TRINA]

Love is blind

Love can tell a million stories

Love's unkind

Spiteful in a million ways

[ALL]

Love is blind

Love can tell a million stories

Love's unkind

Spiteful in a million ways

[MARVIN]

Love is crazy

Love is often boring

Love stinks

Love is pretty often debris

When you find

What you find. Then

Never, never, never, never, never

Do it over again

[OTHERS]

Love

Love

Love

Love

Love reads like a bad biography

All the names are changed

To protect the innocent Love

Love

[ALL]

Love is blind

[MENDEL]

My name is Mendel

I treat her husband

I think she's very insecure

But so am I

I've never married

Work, work is my passion

Or perhaps that's an alibi

[MARVIN]

Yeah, perhaps it is

[MENDEL]

Yeah, I don't care to discuss it

I think she's charming

I think she's needy

In just five sessions on my couch

She'll be like new

[ALL]

His name is Mendel

[WHIZZER]

Ah-ah

[MENDEL]

Return next Friday

I admit I admire you