Falsettos
Lyric guide

The Baseball Game

Read The Baseball Game lyrics by Falsettos on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.

Falsettos visibility1 visits Video on page
person Curated by Ethan Walker LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot

The page facts to cite before the commentary

Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.

Page type: lyric reference Artist: Falsettos Canonical path: /falsettos-2016/the-baseball-game Related lyric paths: 6 Video embedded: yes
Lyrics

The Baseball Game

The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.

We’re sitting

And watching Jason play baseball

We’re watching Jason play baseball!

We’re watching Jewish boys

Who cannot play baseball, play baseball!

We’re watching Jewish boys

Who cannot play baseball play

I hate baseball, I really do!

Unlike the rest of you

I hate baseball!

We really wish he’d take this more seriously!

It's weird how he swings the bat!

It’s weird how he swings the bat

And why does he have to throw like that?

We’re sitting

And watching Jason make errors

The most pathetical errors!

We’re watching Jewish boys

Who almost read Latin

Up, battin’

And battin’ bad!

Remember Sandy Koufax!

You can do it if you wanna do it!

Take heart from Hank Greenberg!

It's not genetic

Even you can be copacetic!

I think, I think

I think you can, I think you can!

We’re sitting

And watching Jason play baseball

We’re watching Jason play baseball!

We’re watching Jewish boys

We’re watching Jewish boys

We’re watching-

Slide, Jason

Slide, Jason!

Slide!

(Whizzer enters)

What is he doing here?

What are you doing here?

Jason asked me to come

Since he asked me to come, I came

Just what I wanted at a Little League game

My ex-husband’s ex-lover!

Isn’t that what every mother dreams about

Having at a Little League game?

Looking at Whizzer is like eating trayf

The kid was out!

The kid was safe!

The kid was out!

The kid was safe!

Hey!

I love baseball

I love Jason

That’s what I’m doing here

Hey, where the hell did they get that umpire?!

Look who’s here

Say hello

Hello

You’re looking sweeter than a donut

Marvin

Whizzer

Is he still queer?

Am I queer?

I don’t know!

Does it matter?

It’s been so long since I could tell

Sit in front of me

I wanna see the bald spot!

C’mon, c’mon

Move in front of me

It gives me pleasure to see the bald spot!

Since it’s the only

Physical imperfection that you've got

I wanna see it!

I wanna touch it!

I wanna run my hands through it!

We’re sitting

And watch the kid as he misses!

We’re watching Marvin throw kisses

We’re watching sixty-seven pounders

Watching Jewish boys miss grounders

Watching boys field, boys bat

Boys this, boys that-

Watching Jason on deck

Swinging the bat!

Hey, Jason

Oh, hi, Whizzer! Glad you came!

Keep your head in the box

Don’t think of a thing

Keep your head in the box

Your eye on the ball

Take a breath, then let it out

And swing!

Keep your head in the box

Don’t think of a thing

Keep your head in the box

Your eye on the ball

Take a breath, then let it out

And swing!

Okay, go get 'em!

Even bald, he looks good

Just remember he’s psychotic

He looks damn good, but he’s cheap as dirt

Even maniacs can charm

Which he does, so beware

And just be careful

When he smiles that smile, avoid him

Or else sound the alert!

Whizzer?

Marvin?

Think there's any hope for the kid?

I love Jason, but this is not his venue

How could I know, without him

My life would be boring as shit?

Jason! You gotta stand a little closer to the plate!

Oh, yes, it is-

He’s gonna be hit by the ball!

Please, God, don’t let me make the same mistake!

We’re sitting

And watching Jason, the batter!

We know our cheering won’t matter!

It is the very final inning

And the other team is winning

And there’s two outs, two strikes

But the bases are loaded and-

Would it be possible to see you, or to kiss you

Or to give you a call?

Anything’s possible

Jason

Hit the ball!

Run!

Quick answers

What this page can answer fast

Who performs "The Baseball Game"?

Falsettos performs "The Baseball Game", and this lyric page sits inside the Falsettos catalog on LyroVerse.

Are there related songs to explore after "The Baseball Game"?

Yes. The related section below points to A Day In Falsettoland/ Racquetball and Canceling The Bar Mitzvah with a short reason for opening each page next.

Where can I find more songs by Falsettos?

Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Falsettos's lyric pages.

Song Room

Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song

Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.

Open Song Room
0 followers Selected insights only surface after moderation
Listener comments

What people are saying

0 comments
Add a short interpretation or memory

A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.

Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.

No listener comments on The Baseball Game yet.