You Are What You Is

Do you know what you are?

You are what you is

You is what you am

A cow don't make ham

You ain't what you're not

So see what you got

You are what you is

An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man

From a middle class fam'ly

Started singin' the blues

'Cause he thought it was manly

Now he talks like the Kingfish

("Saffiiiee!")

From Amos 'n Andy

("Holy mack'l dere . . . Holy mack'l dere!")

He tells you that chitlins . . .

(Chitlins!)

Well, they taste just like candy

He thinks that he's got

De whole thang down

From the Nivea Lotion

To the Royal Crown

Do you know what you are?

You are what you is

You is what you am

A cow don't make ham

You ain't what you're not

So see what you got

You are what you is

An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man

Of the Negro Persuasion

Devoted his life

To become a caucasian

He stopped eating pork

He stopped eating greens

He traded his dashiki

("Uhuru!")

For some Jordache Jeans

He learned to play golf

An' he got a good score

Now he says to himself

"I AIN'T NO NIGGER NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!"

"I don't understand you . . . "

BWANA MA-COO-BAH

"Would you please speak more clearly . . . "

MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ

Who is who

(I don't know . . . )

'N what is what

(Somethin' I just don't know . . . )

'N why is this

(Tell me now . . . )

Appropriot

(That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one . . . )

If you don't like

(Where'd you get that word?)

What you has got

(Appropriot? The word is not . . . )

Drop it in the dirt

(Drop it yeah . . . )

'N let it rot

(I can smell it now . . . )

Someone else

(Here they come, here they come . . . )

Will surely come

(I told you they was comin')

'N pick it up

(That's right!)

'Cause he wants some

(An' he wants it for free . . . )

And when one day

(There will come a day . . . )

You wonder who

(I wonder too . . . )

You used to was

(Who I was anyway . . . )

'N what you do

(I used to work at the post office . . . )

You'll scratch your head

(But I don't wanna un-do my doo . . . )

'N look around

(Just to see what's goin' on . . . )

But what you lost

(Can't seem to find it . . . )

Will not be found

(A Mercedes Benz . . . )

Do you know what you are?

(I know . . . )

You are what you is

(I'm the kinda guy . . . )

You is what you am

(That ought to be drivin' a Mercedes Benz . . . )

A cow don't make a ham

(A four-fifty SLC . . . )

You ain't what you're not

(A big ol' red one . . . )

So see what you got

(With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk . . . )

You are what you is

(I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin' . . . )

An' that's all it is

(Gimme a five dollar bill . . . )

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

(And an overcoat too . . . )

AND THAT'S ALL IT IS

(Where's my waitress? Yeah . . . )

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

(Robbie, take me to Greek Town . . . )

AN THAT'S ALL IT IS

(I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband . . . )

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

(I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all . . . )

AN THAT'S ALL IT IS

(I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor . . . )

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

('N work the pipe 'n work the wall . . . )

AN THAT'S ALL IT IS

(Some more . . . )