Persevere

I never got to kiss your head, ah, emme

And the call came the week I got divorced

I thought I had a real understanding then of loss

But I didn’t know a thing ’til you were gone

And I’m tired of trying to find some sort of meaningful thing

In making sense of such unspeakable loss

But as I’m staring at your folks, the sweetest people I know

I get a glimpse of what it is to be strong

Just holding hands and sobbing with sunglasses on

'Cause nothing tuned me in to absurdity as fast

As a gravestone with the name of a baby that has passed

I used to wanna be important, now I just wanna be alive

And without fear

You got to persevere

I couldn’t count the times I’ve ragged on heaven

As an opiate invented by the weak

It’s an argument I hate 'cause I’m content to love the fates

But it comes up a lot with emme’s dad and me

So I’m shotgun in the car and we’re just shooting the shit

And predictably, the talking turns to God

So I throw him forty lines how I don’t think he exists

And he just smiles and takes a dignified pause

Says: It’s okay to feel unbelievably lost

But God is full of grace and his faithfulness is vast

There is safety in the moments when the shit has hit the fan

Not some vindictive motherfucker, nor is he shitty at his job

What words to hear

And I’m a mess by now

'Cause nothing tuned me in to my failure as fast

As grieving for a friend with more belief than I possessed

It’s not some disembodied heaven, he assured me

Then he laughs and says through tears

You got to persevere

Persevere

Persevere

Persevere

We threw a party up in here, but God, it was bittersweet

I live hard 'cause I am scared that I won’t mean anything

So now I’m praying to the ceiling, to the windows, to the walls

Against this sudden sinking feeling that there’s nothing there at all

And still

We just persevere