Ghoul Hunter

One night as I crept through the cemetery gates

Seeking out the cause of the local mania

I bespied a ghastly sight, which gave me quite a fright

The legendary Ghouls of Creepsylvania

They were moshing to and fro,

And shrieking at the moon, you know

Howling banshees on a quest for human meat

I was shocked to see a Ghoul

That had both eyes pull out a tool

And chop the head from a body lying at his feet

My mind was racing as I watched the horrible carnage

They were stripping the rotten corpse to the bone

I started to slowly back away in horror

When the ground gave way beneath me and I fell into the catacombs

When I came to I was cloaked in darkness

There was a stench unlike any I had ever smelled before

I reached out and felt the ground around me

And my hand went straight into a puddle of gore!

Ghoul Hunter!

You can bet your life that you're going to die!

Ghoul Hunter!

We'll eat you baked, boiled, or fried!

Ghoul Hunter!

You'll look just like the jerk you are!

Ghoul Hunter!

We'll pickle your brain in a jelly jar!

As I was saying...

I lit a torch and began to explore

The tunnels wound and wound for many miles

There were coffins jutting from the walls and more

Burning bones, vats of guts, and skulls in piles

I came to a large room

And heard an echo in the gloom

The sound of metal chilled my very bones

There were riffs the beat the band,

Pounding drums I couldn't stand,

And the vocalists created shocking tones

I made my way towards the cacophony

A crucifix clutched tightly in my fist

And as I came to the torchlit room

I saw the shambling fiends getting pissed

They spotted me and began to shriek and snort

My cover was blown, so I started to run like mad

Digestor tackled me to the floor

And then it started really getting bad

Ghoul Hunter!

You can bet your life that you're going to die!

Ghoul Hunter!

We'll eat you baked, boiled, or fried!

Ghoul Hunter!

You'll look just like the jerk you are!

Ghoul Hunter!

We'll pickle your brain in a jelly jar!

I was bound and gagged in the dining room

Surrounded by the funk of fetid breath

The quartet of maniacs hunched over me

And forced me to listen to Anthrax and Megadeth

I struggled in my restraints as they chortled with glee

While they poked at me and sliced apart my cheek

My muffled pleading only served to amuse them

As they expelled a very noxious sort of reek

I wriggled out of my ropes a bit

There was a struggle but I managed to prevail

Ghoul is still out there, haunting the graveyard

But I escaped and now I'm here to tell my tale

Ghoul Hunter!

You can bet your life that you're going to die!

Ghoul Hunter!

We'll eat you baked, boiled, or fried!

Ghoul Hunter!

You'll look just like the jerk you are!

Ghoul Hunter!

We'll pickle your brain in a jelly jar!