As A Rule

Now I'm not, I repeat not anyway a prude

But the sight of two people cavorting on stage

Doing what can only be termed a natural act

Is unless you wear a raincoat only good for a laugh

As a rule, I never smoke while on duty

It just isn't on do I make myself clear

Though at times if there nobody's looking I will

I mean, life's too short and if I didn't smoke I bet

What with the luck that I have

I'd probably die of warty and, that would be that

Who would have thought it was humanly possible

To mate an elephant with a kangaroo

Well as my dear old mother once said in a rage

"Next thing you know they'll have pigs an the stage"

Whoever said blue skies were better than red

Must have been talking from out of his hat

I mean whose ever heard of a blue sky at night

Don't like waiting or suffocating

In over crowded tubes

But I like good wine with my dinner don't you

Yes we do