Delivery Driver

Intro - you gonna, you gonna fukin order the curry then or what?

Yeah, alright..pass me the phone clart.

Y'wa...hang on mate..

Whass, wha...aw, say whats the fukin number, son

Yew aah, switch yer fukin phone on...c'mon..fukin, i'm staarvin'

Er, allo, allo..yeah, i i i'd like to order a f.. uh...a curry please, yeah

Er, chicken tikka massala, er, 4....4 pila...pilau rice's

(background - can i ave a naan bread)

Aw fukin 'ell..we gotta, fukin.. naan bread as well...

Uh, f.. keema nan..3...3 onion bhajis..er, fukin..an an some pepsi

Yeah, yeah spa..is ..its a takeaway.

Back in the port, stackin up yer bong

Havin a fukin laugh and still signing on

I went to pick up a curry and they saw my capri

I payed them in draw and the keema now its free

The korma was wicked and it only cost a fiver

And they asked me to become the new delivery driver

The orders added up, two by fukin two

I can sell draw when im delivering vindaloos

When you're driving in town late at night

Fuk me clarts you see some sights

Wrecking it up in my capri

Delivering a chicken bhuna going into maindee

Now you see me knocking out making a cut

Ill give you free madras if you keeps yer mouth shut

Ill bring you a curry and sell you the blow

Ill put hash mix in yer bombay potatoes

Chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

I delivered the mushroom biriani to this babysitter

She invited me in and i fuked her up the shitter

I took a lamb madras and a quarter to brynglas

My bitch got three ounces stuffed in her ass

She sucked me off and spat in the mint sauce

You don't wanna know what she put in the main course

Chicken tikka massala delivered to 56

Cause the people there are pricks

Cause they never fukin tips

I delivers the curry right down pill

This bird 'ad no money so she gave me a fucking thrilll

I closed my eyes and made a wish

I chucked my man milk up her fukin starfish

I had 10 pints and smoked some crack

Now i gotta deliver a prawn dhansak

I got to the house, i was sick on the doorstep

But i made them pay cash cause i won't take a cheque

Chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Herbs and spices, deliver pills on ice

I never get c-caught like in miami vice

I get 'em really dodgy on the streets of the city

Deliverin' more draw than curry...which ain't a pity

But when the filth pull me over on the hard shoulder

I gives them lsd curry and a strawberry pavlova

And i pays them off with all this cash that i rake in

The girlies love me so i'm always flicking bacon

All this mad funk, never fukin quits

Ever seen someone get fuked with a pneumatic drill in quik-fit?

I doubt it clart, now gimme the fukin money

This is some of the shit i sees delivering curry

Chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Chicken tikka massala chips and rice

Went down private-eyes and bought a special device

It wasn't very long before i got an order wrong

And my special bombay spuds turned this bloke into a mong

He started complaining when he woke up

Cause it was three weeks later and he missed the world cup

He got fuked off, i must've really bought his piss

Cause i got fired next time i went into the office

They found my capri with the draw they had to seize

Fcuk this splew i'm off to work down the chinese