On The Radio

Big up to anyone who's been involved in care & community

'Cos it's the GLC back again

With another rave anthem for you to feast on, ya bastards

I nick stereos, videos and TVs

But when I'm feeling nice I helps cats out of trees

I'm really nice but you don't know that

Because I'll beat you up, cos you look like a tw@t

Nicked a car in the day, driving real fast

Went out to Risca for a quick fcuking blast

When I've finished my run, it's back home for buns

With my mum and her mates, watching re-runs

By day I sells draw with my mates you see

But at night I likes to watch romantic comedy

I likes to watch Friends and Cheers and Frasier

But during the day I might cut you with a razor

You know I likes hip-hop, you know there's no stopping

But I gotta go, to take my nan out shopping

During the day, I gotta clean the house

But you knows I can sort you out with an ounce

If you see me in town, it's drug money I'm exchanging

But when I'm at home, I'm mainly flower arranging

I likes the yellow daisies and the red roses too

But when I've finished that, it's back to sniffing glue

I watch TV in bed, it really is perfection

Then I w@nks over my stamp collection

'Cos that's what I does when I gets home

'Cos the Queen's fcuking head gives me a big fcuking bone

You might be hard, even harder than me

But I bet you can't look after a fcuking Bonsai tree

Had a fight with some kids, and we kicked their as$

Then I took my kid sister to a ballet class

Every beating I does

No matter how hard it is, no matter how many people I wreck up

I always cleans up the blood off my hands and trackie afterwards, innit

Here we go, Benny Blanco

I lives up my nan's, I told you all before

She's not very rich, in fact she's fcuking poor

Not 'cos she blew it on fags and a blow

But she's addicted to fcuking Bingo

I takes her there every Tuesday night

Then it's off to Voodoo's for a fight

I picks her up around half-past four

And then we goes home and smokes a draw

My nan's wicked, she likes toking blow

Sometimes we watches the Antiques Roadshow

I nick stereos, videos and TVs

But that's what you do when you're in the GLC

During the day I do the shopping for my mum down at Spar

Just so I can borrow my dad's fcuking car

When I goes out, I does a Ritzy's run

And when I gets home, I cutches my mum

Sometimes I go shopping in Matalan's

If the day's nice, I'll take both my nan's

I push 'em round in a wonky old trolley

Then I start to hit 'em with a brolly

'Cos you see I'm not nice all the time

But when I smokes a mix I feels quite fine

On Saturday night I goes fighting in Cwmbran

Then on Sundays I help my mum make some jam

At 6, I goes out for a drink and a fag

By 8, I'm horned-up and I'm up for a shag

By 10, I'm wrecked up and I pukes on my jeans

At 12, I goes home to use the washing machine

Yeah you knows it, it's the fcuking GLC,

Benny Blanco, fcuking Adam Hussein, you knows it,

Fcuking Mike Balls, Raphael, innit

I nick stereos, videos and TVs

My name is Mike Balls and I'm like a disease

I'll fcuk up your insides and bring you down to your knees

But when I threaten you with violence, I say thank you and please

Who's that man in the window pane

He's looking really fcuking crazy, I think it's Adam Hussein

He beat up loads of kids on their way home last night,

Cooked up some dinner and was really alright

I think he's not bad in his own kind of way

But if he doesn't like your face he'll beat you up 'cos you're gay

I nick stereos, videos and TVs

I love being a Clart, it's great to be me

Get with us, be one of the GLC

'Cos you knows it's us that you wanna be

Our crew is growing nearly every fcuking day

So get with us and don't be a fcuking gay

I stack shelves at night, help my gran pay the bills

But I gotta make sure that she takes the right pills

Myra Hindley and Ian Brady,

those two have got nothing on my old lady

She's quite hard and she'll kick me in

So I've gotta clean up the rubbish and put out the bin

I got caught with the drugs, so now I'm in rehab

And now I'm thinking of my nan in a prefab

My name is Mike Balls and it's true what they say

I'm the hardest man in soccer violence around this way

I beat 50 people up, I'm just fcuking insane

I only visit my nan so she can polish my chain

She gives me a tenner to get her the draw

I don't know why she does 'cos I know she can score

She goes into Ringland to a guy named Del

And on Pension day she buys some fcuking Speed as well

...Took my gran shopping on Monday,

Took my gran shopping on Tuesday,

Took my gran shopping on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Chilled on Sunday [repeats]