The Maggot

Oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan

Turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan

Dripping with charm, style and panache

He'll leave you sore like a venereal rash

They tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash'

He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash

He's a bastard, but he's always looking flash

With his shoes like dick turpin, across his waist he wears a sash

Sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too

The tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew

Watch out if he's there when you're pissed

He learnt his science from the man, oliver twist

Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list

Selling sexy dvd's of a willy being kissed

Stealing pensions on the old and infirm

Made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm

Like charles dickens, there's a lesson to be learned

Beware the maggot cos the worm has turned

Whoop......whoop......whoop

All of de yout' shall witness de day that babylon shall faaaalll

Just like jack the ripper, he'll do you up a kipper

And he's like a highway man holding up a newport nipper

He's smarter than sherlock holmes or itv's taggart

Ii'm dapper, refined and they call me the maggot

Turn your back and your pocket, he will pick

His eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped

Like a chameleon, i'm the master thief

Using a disguise, dressed like penelope keith

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole

Taking belongings in my ultimate goal

I'll take your china, your silver and your soul

By darkness and night, i shimmy up the drain-pipe

The maggot, the maggot, that's who i am

Don't ever trust me, always doing a scam

I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram

I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham

Gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty

He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry

Like sherlock holmes bumming watson, it's elementary

He's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century

A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue

Doing the locomotion like kylie minogue

He's got the strength of ten, like a maniac

And i'm also identified as spring-heeled jack

Whoa, here he comes, watch out, son, he'll rip you off

Whoa, here he comes, he's a money grabbing bastard from newport

I'm maggot with the glc

Big shout to all the valleys

Free dick turpin and the ring stinger

Big up to dipper nan

Merthyr connection

Postman port, big shout out to postman port

And mark, running the bar

Always sorts it

Big up hafodrynys hotel

Big up to pontllanfraith crew

Also the west end crew iun abercarn

I did a wheelie on a penny farthing

Big wheel up, big wheel up

All the bus routes

X15, 53, big respect

Red and white at cross keys

And their rivals glynn williams

Respect to you all

All those that know fake elvis

On their transister radio......

Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3.

Every man do his ting, a little bit different