First Hello

Staring at my ceiling

Convince myself it’s nothing

Pray to God to fix me

Feeling guilty having thoughts at 12 years old

Is momma gonna like this, I'm risking her of grandkids

Seven years of fighting

And I don’t wanna fight no more

So I wanna let it out

Wasn’t ready then

But I'm ready now

I want my friends to know me

Like really, really know me

I hope this doesn’t change things

They say that boys don’t cry

But news flash, that’s a lie

I don’t fit inside your boxes

I can’t stop this no

So I'm counting down

Unlock my cell

And come on out

Oh my

Beautiful bliss

I'm so foreign to this

Tell you what my walls know

Here’s my first hello

Oh my

Such a relief

I can be me

I don’t put on no show

It’s my first hello

All that I said

All that I did

I learned to lock my thoughts up carefully

I held my breath

I broke my heart

I bit my tongue

It’s start's to bleed

And I

I hope

You know

That it’s not your fault

Hope my father understands

I'm not any less a man

Oh my

Beautiful bliss

I'm so foreign to this

Tell you what my walls know

Here’s my first hello

Oh my

Such a relief

I can be me

I don’t put on no show

It’s my first hello

I wanna let it out

Wasn’t ready then

But I'm ready now