The Cake I Had

(sung)

What good is cake

You have but never eat?

I never could

Deny myself a sweet,

So i sliced my life

And licked my knife

And ate the cake i had.

[edie] (spoken)

Can't be done, i'm telling you...

[edith]

Two perfect sons

I thoroughly enjoyed

An absent spouse

And cats to fill the void,

And the tri-state's best

Accompanist

Oh yes, i ate the cake i had.

Moist. light.

Gaily decorated.

Every tasty morsel,

Savored, chewed and masticated.

Young. bright.

Rich and thin and clever.

Like a second helping?

Sister, would i ever!

[edie] (spoken)

I'll probably be an old maid until i die. i'll sit around with cats the rest of my life.

[edith] (spoken)

When are you gonna learn, edie?

You're in this world, you know! you're not out of the world!

(sung)

The days are gone

When money grew on trees.

The money tree

Came down with elm disease.

But at my age, ducks,

For my two bucks

I'll eat the cake i have

And like it.

I'll eat the cake i have.

[edie] (spoken)

I think the saddest thing was my not marrying.

During the war, my best friend, she was a nurse with the red cross... she met

Somebody overseas in a hospital. a marine.

Lost both of his legs at iwo jima.

Romance was inevitable, really, given the situation. but i couldn't travel.

Mother wasn't well during the war, you see.

[edith] (spoken)

Gerald gettys worshipped you - and those two nice rockefeller fellas-

[edie] (spoken)

They were horrible! horrible!

[edith] (spoken)

You just didn't want to get married. now it's all blamed on me.

[edie] (spoken)

I missed out on everything.

[edith]

Gripe. groan.

Point the famous finger.

Life is disappointing,

Put the parent through the wringer.

Sulk. moan.

Blame it on the mother.

When i'm dead and buried

You won't get another.

[edie] (spoken)

I met a count, in greenwich village.

He was a poet and a playwright, and he said,

"edith, i want to make an honest woman out of you."

I thought that was very decent.

[edith] (spoken)

He didn't have a nickel in his trousers! not a nickel!

[edie] (spoken)

Mother despised him. gave him the pink slip.

To think, i coulda been a countess - countess edith!

[edith]

Enough with all

Your celebrated loves.

You had two hands.

You could have modeled gloves.

Is it my fault that

Your cake fell flat?

That you're unmarried,

Bald and fat?

As the world waltzed by

And edie sat...

I ate the cake i had

And loved it.

Oh, i ate the cake i had,

No thanks to daddy.

I ate the cake... i had.