The Revolutionary Costume For Today

The best kind of clothes for a protest pose

Is this ensemble of pantyhose

Pulled over the shorts, worn under the skirt

That doubles as a cape.

To reveal you in capri pants

You fashion out of ski pants,

In a jersey knit designed to fit

The contour of your shape.

Then cinch it with a cord from the drape.

And that's the revolutionary costume for today.

To show the polo riders, in khakis and topsiders,

Just what a revolutionary costume has to say.

It can't be ordered from l.l. bean.

There's more to living than kelly green.

And that's the revolution, i mean.

Da da da da dum...

(speaking)

Just listen to this: the hamptons bee, july, 1972:

"the elderly bed-ridden aunt of former first lady jacqueline kennedy,

Mrs. edith bouvier beale..."

My very own mother, can you imagine?

"...and her adult daughter, miss edie beale,

A former debutante once known as body beautiful beale..."

They called me body beautiul beale, it's true -

That was my whaddyacallit, my uh ... sobriquet.

"...are living on long island in a garbage-ridden, filthy 28-room house with 52 cats,

Fleas, cobwebs, and virtually no plumbing.

After vociferous complaints from neighbors,

The board of health took legal action against the reclusive pair."

Why, it's the most disgusting, atrocious thing ever to happen in america!

(singing)

You fight city hall with a persian shawl

That used to hang on the bedroom wall,

Pinned under the chin, adorned with a pin

And pulled into a twist.

Reinvent the objet trouve,

Make a poncho from a duvet,

Then you can be with cousin lee

On mr. blackwell's list.

The full-length velvet glove hides the fist.

And that's the revolutionary costume for today.

Subvert the criscraft boaters, those nixon-agnew voters.

Armies of conformity are headed right your way.

To make a statement you need not be

In boston harbor upending tea.

And that's a revolution, to me.

Staunch!

There's nothin' worse, i tell ya,

Staunch!

S-t-a-u-n-c-h.

Staunch women, we just don't weaken.

A little known fact to the fascist pack

Who comes here for antiquin'.

Da da da da dum...

(speaking)

Honestly, they can get you in east hampton for wearing red shoes on a thursday -

And all that sort of thing.

I don't know whether you know that - i mean, do you know that?

They can get you for almost anything - it's a mean, nasty, republican town.

(singing)

The best kind of shoes to express bold views

Are strapless mules in assertive hues

Like fuscia or peach, except on the beach,

In which case you wear flats.

When i stood before the nation

At jack's inauguration,

In a high-heeled pump, i got the jump

On jackie's pillbox hat.

Just watch it where you step with the cat!

And that's the revolutionary costume pour du jour.

You mix 'n' match and, presto!

A fashion manifesto.

That's why a revolutionary costume's de rigeur.

The rhododendrons are hiding spies,

The pussy willows have beady eyes.

Binoculars through the privet hedge,

They peek at you through the window ledge with guile!

We're in a revolution!

So win the revolution with style!

Da da da da dum.