Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Half Man Half Biscuit
Canonical path: /half-man-half-biscuit/twenty-four-hour-garage-people
Related lyric paths: 6
Video embedded: yes
Lyric guide
Twenty-Four Hour Garage People
Read Twenty-Four Hour Garage People lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Lyrics
Twenty-Four Hour Garage People
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
I fancy I'll open a stationer's
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at the Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed.
'Coz you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
With talk radio on.
And you curse my soul if I don't want petrol
Curse my soul 'coz I don't want petrol
I only came down for a tube of Pringles
Sour Cream and Chives.
And because you've got to get up off your fat arse to go and get my crisps
And you've gotta go round the counter and it's really 'inconvenient',
And when you come back you toss them into that sliding metal tray device thing that separates us and you say 'One pound thirty five.'
As opposed to 'That'll be one pound thirty-five please, sir.'
This is of course done to annoy me, but has the opposite effect of amusing me no end, because suddenly I've got other things to buy
I'll 'ave two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite
Two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite
Two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite
What sandwiches have you got?
Well now you become quite irate
And you're voice becomes louder
And you start to sound like Leadbelly at the depot
'I got Ham, I got Cheese, I got Chicken, I got Beef, I got Tuna Sweetcorn, I've got Tuna Sweetcorn'.
I'll 'ave' ten kit-kats and a motoring atlas
Ten kit-kats and a motoring atlas
Ten kit-kats and a motoring atlas
And a blue CD on the Hallmark label, that's sure to be good.
Oh, he went to play golf on a Sunday morning,
Just a mile and a half from town.
His head was found on the driving range,
And his body's never been found.
Quick answers
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People"?
Half Man Half Biscuit performs "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People", and this lyric page sits inside the Half Man Half Biscuit catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People"?
Yes. The related section below points to You're Hard and I Hate Nerys Hughes with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Half Man Half Biscuit?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Half Man Half Biscuit's lyric pages.
Song Room
Open Song Room
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
Listener comments
What people are saying
No listener comments on Twenty-Four Hour Garage People yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.