I'd Rather

Have you ever wondered

What it would be like

To be exposed to vacuum space?

The saliva boiling on your tongue

And your eyes popping out of your face

And the air rushes out of your lungs

And your alveoli start to rupture and bleed

Well that's about ninety percent of how I felt

When you did what you did to me

So I'd rather swim through a puddle of excrement

Or eat a dozen tires

Or maybe only ever eat wet cat food for the whole rest of my life

And no I don't think we'll get together again

And no I don't think we can still be friends

There's so many things I'd rather do

Than spend another day with you

I'm getting this really strong vibe

That you never gave a damn about me

And that's why you think it's no big deal

For you to come around and see me

But that's not how I feel about you

In fact I think I never wanna see you at all

So maybe I'll inject gasoline in my eye

And then hold a lighter to my eyeball

So I'd rather swim through a puddle of excrement

Or eat a dozen tires

Or put everything I love in a pile and set it all on fire

And no I don't think we'll get together again

And no I don't think we can still be friends

There's so many things I'd rather do

Than spend another day with you

Feed my hand to a guinea pig

Put a lightbulb up in my ass

Reenact that scene from die hard

Where bruce walks around on the glass

Call up my mom and tell her she sucks

Or drink a gallon of my own pee

Pay a group of skinheads twenty-five bucks to really beat the shit out of me

So I'd rather swim through a puddle of excrement

Or eat a dozen tires

Or maybe only ever eat wet cat food for the whole rest of my life

And no I don't think we'll get together again

And no I don't think we can still be friends

There's so many things I'd rather do

Than spend another day with, spend another

Minute with, spend another second with you