This Is Not Harry Potter

Something just occuredw to me as I was reading

Another book I'd heard

As the next big thing

I thought what would I give, if it could be true

If I could ever feel again

The way I felt when I read you

I'd pay a million galeons

Or dress up like I go to beauxbatons

I'd tattoo my head with a lighting bolt

I'd pawn my wand and firebolt

But no matter how many good things I'm told

Everything I ever read turns out to be leprechaun gold

It's been so many years

No matter how I try

To read more young adult fiction

I keep coming up dry

It's like water water everywhere

And not a drop to drink

My frustration and my agony

Have pushed me to the brink

I keep tilting back the glass

But I never taste the water

It seems no matter what I read I think

"This is not harry potter. "

I was pretty impressed with frankie landau banks

But compare saving the world

With a few epic pranks

There is no monoploy on non-human people

There's faerie's buggers talking cats and nac mac feegle

And thirteen little blue envelopes

Was fantastic but my sneakoscope

Would be flashing and spinning if I said

That it was the best book I've read

And you gotta know that this is no joke

That I also read books that my own brother wrote

It's been so many years

No matter how I try

To read more young adult fiction

I keep coming up dry

It's like water water everywhere

And not a drop to drink

My frustration and my agony

Have pushed me to the brink

I keep tilting back the glass

But I never taste the water

It seems no matter what I read I think

"This is not harry potter. "

And in the darkest hours, of my darkest nights

I found myself curled up with twilight

And I couldn't help but wonder as I ravenously read

Can you avada kedavra the undead

'Cause edward cullen totally has it comin'

And if he saw voldemort he'd better start runnin'

Cause there's not much that the dark lord and I

Could agree on

But I think that we would both hate that guy

Sir nicholas de mimsy porpington

Is a character name that, by itself

Is better than anything in breaking dawn

It's been so many years no matter how I try

To read more young adult fiction

I keep coming up dry

President snow is no voldemort

Diagon alley is cooler than ankh mor pork

And lyra silvertoungue is mrs. Coulter's daughter

That's a good plot twist but it is not Harry Potter