Maria

Sweet Jesus, please help Maria

I tried holy water and I tried tequila

Her skin is turning green

She's becoming more obscene

And now she sticks a crucifix up her vagina

Now Maria thinks it's also funny

All the while I know it's blasphemy

She's been pissin' on my floor

She's becoming such a whore

But I can't hate the bitch 'cause she's my honey

But if she don't turn

She's gonna burn

Down in the flames of Hell where they'll be weeping

'Cause it's a sin

She let the damned thing in

And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

I been praying all night long

And I've been singing Christian songs

Something as possessed my lovely wife

There's something standing close

In the dark, it ain't a ghost

It's Maria, tryna take my life

Now Maria vomits and she swears

And it's creepy how she comes crawling down the stairs

Her head is spinnin' 'round

She's been writhing on the ground

It breaks my heart and causes many tears

But if she don't turn

She's gonna burn

Down in the flames of Hell where they'll be weeping

'Cause it's a sin

She let the damned thing in

And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

I been praying all night long

And I've been singing Christian songs

Something as possessed my lovely wife

There's something standing close

In the dark, it ain't a ghost

It's Maria, tryna take my life

(Here we go!)

I think she might be going straight to Hell

'Cause down the steps my poor Maria fell

I gave that girl a shove

I pushed with all my love

And where I hid the body I'll never tell

She didn't turn

She's gonna burn

Down in the flames of Hell where they'll be weeping

'Cause it's a sin

She let the damned thing in

And I swear she was sneaking out at night while the rest of us were sleeping

I been praying all night long

And I've been singing Christian songs

That poor girl was once my lovely wife

She had no self-control

May God forgive her soul

'Cause I had to take Maria's life