The Hearse Song

Don't ever laugh as a hearse goes by

For you may be the next to die

They wrap you up in a big white sheet

From your head down to your feet

They put you in a big black box

And cover you up with dirt and rocks

And all goes well for about a week

And then your coffin begins to leak

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out

The worms play pinochle on your snout

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose

They eat the jelly between your toes

A big green worm with rolling eyes

Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes

Your stomach turns a slimy green

And pus pours out like whipping cream

You spread it on a slice of bread

And that's what you eat when you are dead

And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in

The worms that crawl in are lean and thin

The ones that crawl out are fat and stout

Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out

Your brain comes tumbling down your snout

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out

They crawl all over your dirty snout

Your chest caves in, your eyes pop out

And your brain turns to sauerkraut

They invite their friends and their friends too

They all come down to chew on you

And this is what it is to die

I hope you had a nice goodbye

Did you ever think as a hearse goes by

That you may be the next to die?

And your eyes fall out, and your teeth decay

And that is the end of a perfect day