You & The Cockroach

Okay, picture this

There's this cold floating rock, right

And at the bottom of this rock there's an ocean

And at the bottom of the ocean there's these

Little teeny amoeba, right

And after millions of years these amoeba

They start turning into fish and swimming around

I don't know how it works, but it does

So these amoebas, right, these amoeba fish

Start swimming around until one day

One of these fish is like: You know what?

I fucking hate the ocean, it sucks, its cold, its wet

I'm done, I'm done

So he grabs these fucking little things that are called hands and feet

And connects them to his body

And he crawls out of this ocean, right

And when he gets onto the bay, guess what he sees?

He looks around and he sees

A female fish, and she's beautiful

Oh my God, stunning

So they talk, they talk for a few days

And they start, you know after a few days they start mashing parts

'Cause that's what happens, right

So they mash parts and all these babies get born

After millions of years these babies shed their scales, shed their fins

Until they start standing upright, and one day

They, their fucking brains get so big

They begin to understand these really scary concepts

And one of these concepts is that they're going to die

And what's scarier than knowing you're going to die?

Nothing, to me

So one day this guy's like

You know what, I'm gonna create something

That makes me not afraid of dying, right

So he comes up with it, and its actually called

This thing you may know as, its called religion

And this religion causes a bunch of conflict

Conflict, bang bang bang, that's literally what it sounds like

So with all this (conflict) they understand they need some order

So they create this thing called government

To keep each other in line, but guess what

It actually doesn't happen like that

Guess what it creates, it creates a bunch more conflict

Oh my God, and out of all this conflict arises a president

And this president is orange, he's got orange hair

It's parted to the side, it looks really dumb

He's chubby, and he's got little sausage fingers

They look like Little Smokeys

I personally love Little Smokeys

Either way, he starts arguing with this leader

On the other side of the world

He's got a bowl cut, he's similarly pudgy

He's got sausage fingers too

I don't know what it is with guys with sausage fingers

But it messes their minds up, right

So they start bickering like little children

And one day the guy with orange hair is just like

You know what I'm gonna fucking do it, I've got

A small dick I ain't got nothing to lose

So he gets his thing, and he presses the button and it just goes

Ba-ba-ba-bang bang and it blows him up

And everybody dies

Everybody dies

Everybody dies

What's the only thing that survives a nuclear war?

Everyone say it on 5

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Cockroaches!

So the cockroaches are really small, but

After millions of years they start getting bigger

And one day they start losing their fucking shale, shells

And losing their fucking antennas

And then they fucking brains get so big

They begin to understand these really scary concepts

And the concepts that they are going to die

But guess what, they don't wanna die

So they create this new thing called religion

But it creates a newer thing called conflict

So then they protect each other, so they create government

But then it creates even more conflict

Oh my God, and out of this conflict arises this fucking president

He's a cockroach, he's a little small boy

And he gets really fucking insecure

About his place in the world, ha ha ha, classic

So he finds some guy to project onto

And they start bickering, and they bicker and bicker

And the other guy's like

Fuck you

The other guy's like

Fuck you, motherfucker

But he has to go to his top cockroach scientist

Because guess what, nukes don't fucking work on cockroaches

It bounces off them like a soft ocean breeze

So the president fucking, he's like

Ok I'm gonna do it

So he devises a new missile

He talks to his top cockroach scientist, imagine that

A big humanlike cockroach in a fucking labsuit with glasses on

So he fucking tells him, he's like

We need a missile that kills cockroaches

So the scientist is like

Ok I got it, it's gonna be a missile

And on the end of the missile instead of a nuke

It's one giant, president it's a giant, it's a giant

Shoe!

And it blows him up

It's a giant shoe, heh

Classic, classic, classic I mean

I mean, we just tryna chill

We didn't come here to show off, or like flaunt our shit

Or anything like that

We just came to chill and have fun

And I guess that's what life's all about

Ha ha, let go